(I‘d like to see His Royal Highness say “Peter Piper Picked a Pack of Pickled Peppers“ twenty times - really fast)
CAST: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham-Carter.
DIRECTOR: Tom Hooper
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one Royal Bromance - straight ahead…
UrbanDictionary.com defines the term “Bromance” as: (1) “the complicated love and affection between two men” that does not involve sex; and (2) “a non-sexual relationship between two men who are unusually close.” Basically, it’s BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN - only one dude doesn’t want to fuck the other. He may, however, want to cry on his shoulder once in awhile, though. And maybe even cuddle on a rainy day. Kidding. But not really.
We’ve seen many examples of Bromances throughout the years, even before the term entered the zeitgeist. A Bromance Movie can be from any genre, as long as it shows a close, non-sexual, and often complicated relationship between two men. Examples include: SCENT OF A WOMAN, 48 HOURS, FANDANGO, GOOD WILL HUNTING, ROLE MODELS, GROWN-UPS, DINER, LETHAL WEAPON and its sequels, and many others.
Our latest review is set in pre-WWII London, and is probably the classiest Bromance Movie I’ve ever seen. Our “lovebirds” are: (1) Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush), a quirky and unconventional speech therapist who must be very effective for his clients to put up with his, shall we say, unorthodox techniques; and (2) King George VI (Colin Firth), Head Monarch of England. Really.
And you thought I was just fucking around when I wrote that this was the classiest Bromance Movie I’ve ever seen. Dorks.
Anyhow, King G. has this horrible stammer problem which surfaces when he speaks publicly. That is quite inconvenient, what with him having to give speeches to the nation and all. It goes without saying that all the speech therapists he’s seen have been about as effective as a mesh condom. One even tries to cure King G’s speech impediment by forcing him to (I swear to God) suck on some steel balls. How this is supposed to keep our Royal Hero from stammering is beyond my fucking comprehension. But then again, the therapist might be on to something: I don’t know any gay dudes who stammer. Do you? Well, then…
Anyway, with King G’s role as CEO of Britain and all, it’s quite urgent that he surmount this problem - prontissimo. Eventually, his loyal wife Queen Elizabeth (Helena Bonham-Carter) hears about a certain speech therapist on the other side of London who seems to have a promising track record. She pays him a visit in person and, as you can imagine, this isn’t one of the more boring meet-and-greets in the history of the World. I know if I stepped into my waiting room to find the First Lady waiting for me, I can safely say I would shit myself.
Fortunately, this new speech therapist must be used to Royalty swinging by, because he barely bats an eyelash. He is Lionel Logue, and he seems to pretty sangfroid for someone who just landed the gig of a lifetime. Either that, or Queen E. interrupted him while having a nip of something stronger than coffee, know what I’m sayin’? Anyhow, after practically zero minutes of hesitation, Lionel agrees to coach King G to orate and expound more effectively.
And so begins Lionel and Georgie’s Bromance? Will it be smooth sailing? Or will Lionel enrage King G with his offbeat methods? Will King G eventually thaw and embrace Lionel’s strategy? And what happens when war breaks out between England and Germany - and King G must give a series of important speeches designed to win the country’s confidence and boost morale? Will he succeed? Or will he stammer his way through the whole thing again? Will Lionel and Georgie’s “love” conquer all?
See for yourselves. All I’ll say is I’d be very interested to know how that “Sucking on Steel Balls” treatment came about. Very interested, indeed.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Because THE KING’S SPEECH is one of those films that are most effective when going in knowing the bare essentials, I’ll keep this analysis to 6 statements:
1. This film is based on the true story of King George VI’s speech impediment and his remarkable friendship with Lionel Logue.
2. Colin Firth deserves his recent Academy Award Nomination for this role. In his talented hands, King George is a moving combination of icy imperiousness, uncertain vulnerability, and tentative courage. It’s a heartbreaker of a performance that rivals James Franco’s from 127 HOURS, who was also nominated. I would hate to be the one to choose between these two for Best Actor.
3. Geoffrey Rush is equally terrific as the atypical speech therapist, Lionel Logue. His stubborn refusal to be intimidated by George, and his relentless drive to help him, forms the motor of their relationship - and Rush plays it beautifully.
4. Helena Bonham-Carter is perfect as Queen Elizabeth. Bonham-Carter is an ace at playing coolly composed women with softness lurking beneath, and this portrayal is no exception. She and Firth are a great cinematic couple, and the best scenes are of the deeply-loyal Elizabeth raising the spirits of her troubled husband.
5. You should see this movie only if you appreciate thoughtful, intelligent, methodically-paced films that eventually yield significant emotional rewards. Otherwise, go see SEASON OF THE WITCH.
6. The film ends with on-screen text that tells us that George and Lionel remained close friends even after the treatment, and continued to be so for the rest of their lives.
Now if that’s not a Bromance, I don’t know what it is…
