(I’ve heard of Disco Madness, but this is just insane…)
CAST: Leslie Nielsen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Casey Stevens, Eddie Benton, Marybeth Reubens, Joy Thompson, Antoinette Bower, Pita Oliver, Michael Tough, George Touliatos, Robert Silverman, Jeff Wincott, Sheldon Rybowski.
DIRECTOR: Paul Lynch
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and potentially alarming early-80’s evening wear straight ahead…
Ah, prom night… Is there a more divisive and potentially traumatic young adult experience out there? For most of us, prom night is either: (1) the first awesome “allnighter” of our lives (to be followed by pretty much every night in college or most weekends in the military); or (2) an agonizing ordeal just below “root canals” and “hemmorhoid-removal surgery” on the the list of “Things I’d Rather Die Before Doing.”
Consider my own Prom Night. It was held on the rooftop of a chi-chi hotel in the Southeast Asian country I grew up in. The nightmare began early that evening, when I showed up at the hotel promptly at two minutes before 6:30 PM - the time on the invitations. I immediately discovered that I was the only person there. The fucking band hadn’t even shown up yet. The crickets in the ornamental plants were practically laughing at me.
See, in this particular Southeast Asian county that I grew up in, people are a little, shall we say, flexible with time. In other words, showing up forty minutes late is considered being early. And if you’re someone who - I don’t know - shows up two minutes before the published event start time, you must be... half German/Norwegian. Or an alien. Which might actually be the same thing.
So, needless to say, I waited on that goddamn roof all by myself for almost an hour. Then the band showed up. Then the caterers. Then the rest of the students. Oh, and just to further paint a lovely picture of that evening, let me just add that I also went stag. See, I went to a Catholic school for boys, and most of them grabbed their dates from a nearby Catholic school for girls. To which my response was: “Oh, I don’t think so.” And since my school was pretty much like the military in that I couldn’t exactly ask one of my classmates out, my options were a little limited.
So I decided to think outside the box - and wrote the following letter to Kevin Costner. Yes, that Kevin Costner. It went a little something like this:
Dearest Mr. Costner…
May I call you Kevin? Kevin, you are fucking amazing. You know how I know you’re amazing? I sat through SILVERADO - a western - without doing any of the following: (1) falling asleep; (2) throwing something at the TV; or (3) just keeling over at the sight of all that dust and horse manure. It was because of you, sir, that I endured all that horseshit (no pun intended). That is no small feat. Believe me. Because I fucking hate westerns.
And don’t get me started about NO WAY OUT, where your limousine scene with Sean Young pretty much proved that you can fuck someone’s brains out without first knowing their name - and still be happy about it the next day. By the way, I firmly believe I could’ve played her role better than she did. I think she’s fabulous in that movie, and is pretty hot herself, but I would’ve made a better whore. Just keeping it real...
So, anyway... I have this problem and I'm hoping you can help me. Prom is coming up and I’ll be damned if I’m going to fish for a date from that Den of Cockteases down the street. And let’s just say that the prospects on my end aren’t exactly promising. The priests seems to have a problem with two dudes showing up together. Do I need to point out the irony there? Are they fucking serious?
Whatever. Let me cut to the chase: Kevin Costner, will you take me to the prom? Seriously, you’d be doing me a favor. I know you can easily afford your own airfare, but I’m ready to steal my Dad’s credit card and spring for the plane tickets. I’ll even get a limousine for us. Ahem.
Just let me know,
Toodles,
S.
P.S. I can’t wait to see you in a tux like in the scene when you first met Sean Young in NO WAY OUT. It’s not really the normal prom attire here, because they prefer us to wear these gauzy native dress shirts - but fuck ‘em. It’s my fantasy, and we'll wear whatever the fuck we want.
Strangely, I never got a response. Not even a phone call. I didn’t hold it against him, though. He was probably just busy filming BULL DURHAM. And so, long story short, I went stag to my Prom Night, and I actually still managed to have fun. Mainly by providing running commentary on everyone’s clothes - whether solicited or not. So many bad fashion choices, so little time. Oh, the memories... Brings tears to my eyes. Tears of laughter, that is. Some people cannot fucking dress to save themselves.
Anyhow, that lengthy exposition is just to show that my prom experience wasn’t exactly one for the books. But, frankly, it was downright heavenly compared to the characters of our next review. PROM NIGHT revolves around four teenagers who inadvertently caused the death of a playmate six years ago, and are now targeted my a masked killer who seems to be intent on evening the score. And the night the killer picks to declare “open season” on our teens is... Prom Night.
Fuck. And I was pissed off about Kevin Costner standing me up.
Anyway, our story starts with our foursome as twelve-year olds playing a game of “Killer” in an abandoned convent. Apparently, “Killer” is a wackier version of “Hide and Seek.” Something tells me these brats have seen FRIDAY THE 13TH and HALLOWEEN one too many times. The kids are Nick, Wendy, Kelly, and Jude - and they seem to be enjoying this game a little too much.
In the middle of all of this, three other kids show up: Kim, Alex, and Robin. Kim dashes back to school because she forgot one of her books, while Alex heads on home. Robin, on the other hand, decides she wants to join the wacky foursome playing “Killer” inside the convent. This turns out badly, though, because Nick and the others turn on Robin and end up scaring her right out of a top floor window - and onto some plate glass on the lawn below. Let’s just say they really are killers now.
Understandably freaked, the foursome vow to keep the accident a secret, and skedaddle out of there before anyone can discover their “oopsie” - and before you can say “I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER!” Unfortunately, a shadowy figure nearby has seen the whole thing, and watches as Nick, Wendy, Kelly, and Jude vamoose it out of there on their bikes. No doubt crapping their pants in the process.
Flash forward six years and we discover that our little killers have grown to be sort-of hot high school seniors: (1) Nick (Casey Stevens) is a stud muffin who really needs a haircut; (2) Wendy (Eddie Benton) is Ultra-Mega-Alpha-Biyatch who used to date Nick and still wants him; (3) Kelly (Marybeth Reubens) is a virginal goodie-goodie with lips bigger than most sectional sofas; and (4) Jude (Joy Thompson) is a goofy brainy chick who is desperate for a prom date.
Just to make things more interesting, Nick is also dating Kim (Jamie Lee Curtis), older sister of the dead Robin. Of course, Kim doesn’t know that her Mr. Right is also Mr. Scared My Little Sister Out Of A Top Floor Window. If she did, you think she’d be accepting a corsage from him, let alone accepting his tongue into her mouth?
And to make things even more interesting, it appears that the vagrant that the cops unfairly pinned Robin’s death on six years ago escaped from a mental institution and appears to be headed back in the direction of the convent. Sure enough, a mysterious stranger phones in death threats to Nick, Wendy, Kelly, and Jude. None of them really take it seriously, though. Big mistake. Very big.
Not even when their ripped-up yearbook pictures creepily materialize inside their lockers do they even bat an eyelash. I guess I was right when I said these fuckers had seen one too many slasher movies. Either that, or they just have balls the size of two of Jupiter's moons. Let's just say that bravery will soon be tested. By an axe.
Who saw Nick, Wendy, Kelly, and Jude accidentally kill Robin? Is it the crazy vagrant who was unjustly blamed for the death? Has he escaped to plot revenge? Why now? Why during Prom Night? Or is someone else behind the death threats? Who will escape the killer? Nick? Wendy? Kelly? Jude? Or will they all bite it? And will Kim discover that her own boyfriend was partly responsible for her sister’s death? Will she then see Nick for the bushy-haired bastard that he is? And why the hell do these people keep wandering away from the party? Don’t they know they’d have nothing to worry about if they stayed on the dance floor? And speaking of dancing: What. The fuck. Is up. With that. Dance Number?
You'll see. And unless you really loved "Dance Fever" and "Soul Train", you are guaranteed to piss yourself laughing.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In our review for BLACK CHRISTMAS (review # 192) we discussed the Holiday/Event-Themed Slasher Film. This sub-genre of the Horror Genre usually revolves around a group of partying youths who are targeted by a killer during a major holiday or event. While BLACK CHRISTMAS paved the way in 1974, the resounding success of HALLOWEEN four years later cemented the template that many others would imitate.
One of the better Holiday/Event-Themed Slasher Films that sprung up in the wake of HALLOWEEN’s success was a Canadian offering called PROM NIGHT. In fact, Canada would provide some of the better entries in the post-HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13th slasher era. MY BLOODY VALENTINE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, TERROR TRAIN, and CURTAINS were other strong contributions to the sub-genre. Make not mistake though: PROM NIGHT is the best of them.
For a slasher movie, a decent amount of thought went into the script. The characters, while not the deepest, are sufficiently vivid and memorable. It helps that each of the roles is ideally cast. Jamie Lee Curtis was on her way to becoming the Scream Queen of the early 80's because of her roles in HALLOWEEN, TERROR TRAIN, and this film - and she shows us why. The woman can scream. Plus, she knows how to convey her heroines’ strengths without turning brittle. Which goes a long way in keeping them likable. Kim Hammond is no exception.
The interesting thing about PROM NIGHT, though, is that Kim is never really in jeopardy, despite being the heroine. This is interesting for a slasher because the heroine is also usually the “Final Girl” - a term that means the last surviving character who must duke it out with the killer at the end. In PROM NIGHT, however, we get more of a “Final Guy”: Nick. In that role, Casey Stevens is good, and the script wisely turns him into a conflicted character. He loves Kim, but he also feels understandably guilty about the secret he’s carrying. It’s this added layer that makes PROM NIGHT better than your average Holiday/Event-Themed Slasher.
As for the other three guilty parties, Marybeth Reubens, Joy Thompson, and Eddie Benton are all solid as, respectively, the innocent Kelly, the quirky Jude, and the bitchy Wendy. Each of these actresses makes her role distinct and defined. Benton, in particular, is memorable as Wendy, and her character is the centerpiece of the film’s best scene: an extended chase sequence through the darkened school where Wendy and the killer play a terrifying game of cat-and-mouse. This chase scene is now considered a classic and has been much-imitated, especially in 1997’s I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER and practically any post-SCREAM slasher film.
Another terrific sequence is the climactic battle between Nick, Kim, and the killer. The way this scene unfolds, with the disco music blaring in the background, is an interesting contrast to your typical slasher film climax. The revelation of “whodunit” is also extremely poignant and heartbreaking - especially for this kind of film. You may shed a tear or two.
The only thing that keeps PROM NIGHT from rating higher is because I wish the script would have also explored Wendy, Jude, and Kelly’s feelings of guilt over Robin’s death. We see a lot of this with Nick, especially in relation to his now-intimate relationship with Kim. But as for the other three guilty parties, we never really get a sense of what they feel about the dark secret they share. Which is odd, considering Kelly and Jude are now good friends with Kim.
Even with these flaws, though, PROM NIGHT is still a very strong entry in the Holiday/Event-Themed Slasher sub-genre that isn‘t afraid to play around with the formula - especially so soon after its inception. The film’s tragic ending also gives it an emotional resonance that many others from this sub-genre lack. Which is the case with its thoroughly pedestrian and misguided 2008 remake.
The difference between the original and the remake is the former knows what it’s doing, while the latter is simply faking it. And that makes a big difference.
