(Michelle Pfeiffer, you are a goddess - cat or otherwise…)
CAST: Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer, Danny DeVito, Christopher Walken.
DIRECTOR: Tim Burton
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one irresistible feline - straight ahead…
IT’S LIKE THIS: Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton) is still playing dress-up as Batman, while trying to conquer his demons through fighting crime. You’d think that with all those billions he’d quit being so angsty and just find someone’s hot torso to do jello shots off of. Several someones, actually. Whatever. Anyhow, he eventually runs afoul of The Penguin (Danny DeVito), a deformed sicko whose parents abandoned him as an infant because, well, he proved that there is such a thing as, well, an ugly baby. In this, a fugly baby. As you can imagine, The Penguin has grown up from an ugly baby to a very pissed-off ugly adult - and wants vengeance. As if Batman’s hands weren’t full enough with this birdbrain, he has to deal with the mysterious, elusive, seductive Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer), who basically bitch-slaps Batman whenever she can - and makes him like it. Kin-kay Par-Tay in Gotham Ci-Tay!
THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Batman. Maybe even Catwoman, but she’s got that “good/evil” thing going, so you better not rely on her.
EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Michael Keaton. Michelle Pfeiffer. Put these two in leather outfits and it’s Wood Central whichever way you swing…
MOST INTENTIONALLY HAIR-RAISING SCENE: The Penguin flirting with his bimbo fans. Someone should give this guy a mirror to clue him on just how hideous he looks. Then those bimbos need an IQ transplant to be able to tell the difference between a man and a bizarro freak of nature that lives in the sewers.
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY HAIR-RAISING SCENE: The Penguin flirting with his bimbo fans. Someone should give this guy a mirror to clue him on just how hideous he looks. Then those bimbos need an IQ transplant to be able to tell the difference between a man and a bizarro freak of nature that lives in the sewers.
HOTTEST SCENE: Bruce Wayne (Batman’s alter ego) and Selina Kyle (Catwoman‘s alter ego) dancing under the mistletoe at the Christmas Ball to the tune of Siouxsie and the Banshees‘ haunting song “Face to Face“ - and discovering who the other really is. Wouldn‘t worry too much about it, folks. This just means the sex is about to get even better.
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Will the Penguin destroy Gotham City? Will Catwoman join him on the dark side? Or will Batman save her? Do these two tortured, damaged souls even have a chance at a happy ending? Or are they forever destined to “dance” around each other? Can the Bat and the Cat get it on? I’d pay to see that. I’d soooooooooooooo pay to see that.
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “BATMAN RETURNS”: If you like smart, sharp, intense, edgy, and dark superhero flicks. And if the sight of Michelle Pfeiffer in a cat outfit is enough to set your heart a-flutter.
WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “BATMAN”: If you don’t like smart, sharp, intense, edgy, and dark superhero flicks. And if you don’t understand the appeal of people running around in latex/leather costume. If so, I pity you. Much fun can be had from such costumes.
FINAL ANALYSIS: Unlike BATMAN, which had its own non-threatening (almost bland) flavor, BATMAN RETURNS is darker, edgier, more intense (and therefore more exciting) movie. The world that director Tim Burton creates here is distinct from the one he created in BATMAN, which was really a conventional one despite its flourishes. The world of BATMAN RETURNS is a more unsettling one, where darkness and light, good and evil, danger and safety, are often hard to tell apart from each other. In other words, this world is painted in shades of gray.
This is never more apparent in how the characters of Batman and Catwoman (AKA Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle) are treated. As Bruce Wayne/Batman, Michael Keaton goes deeper with his performance here than he did in the first movie. We get a much better sense of a man struggling with his duality, and Keaton vividly puts forth Bruce’s conflicted nature. This dichotomy is echoed in Selina Kyle/Catwoman, whom Michelle Pfeiffer turns into the most fascinating character. Pfeiffer imbues both alter egos with a sexy intensity and alluring mystery that is completely understandable in drawing Bruce to her. What’s even better is that, like Keaton with his role, Pfeiffer also shows the tenderness and vulnerability underneath Catwoman’s coolly-confident surface. Her struggle between the light and dark sides of her personality is what makes her so compelling to Bruce Wayne/Batman - and us.
In fact, the scene at the Christmas Ball where Bruce and Selina dance together under a mistletoes, and a slip of their tongues accidentally reveal to each other their identities as Batman and Catwoman, is absolutely riveting.
As Penguin, the main villain of BATMAN RETURNS, Danny DeVito is a feral and gritty counterpoint to Jack Nicholson’s more smooth and polished Joker from BATMAN. This is a welcome change, because it has the effect of turning the Penguin into a more formidable adversary than the Joker, who was just a little too sterile for me. Many people trumpet Jack Nicholson’s performance in that film, and while it is competent and even commanding in some parts, it’s not really all that. DeVito makes for a better villain.
In the end, BATMAN RETURNS is that rare sequel that actually improves upon the original. Much of that credit should go to Burton and his cast, who were not afraid to make this film a darker, more intense experience.
Please enjoy a video of Siouxsie and the Banshees’ “Face to Face” off the BATMAN RETURNS soundtrack.
