# 191 - LOVE ACTUALLY (2003)

LOVE ACTUALLY (2003 - ULTRA ROMANTIC COMEDY/CHRISTMAS FLICK) ***½ out of *****

(Watch out, Romantic Comedy Haters… here comes your mega-cyanide pill…)

All in all, probably the sweetest Christmas on record.  Diabetics (and cynical bastards) stay away!!!


CAST: Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Laura Linney, Emma Thompson, Bill Nighy, Keira Knightley, Andrew Lincoln, Martin Freeman, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Gregor Fisher, Alan Rickman, Heike Makatsch, Rodrigo Santoro, Kris Marshall, Joanna Page, Lucia Moniz, Martine McCutcheon, Billy Bob Thornton.

DIRECTOR: Richard Curtis

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and serious jeopardy for those with a low tolerance for Rom Com glucose… straight ahead.





I can just imagine Richard Curtis, writer of such Droll British Rom Com Classics as FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL and NOTTING HILL, sitting in his study in London one day and going through his “Ideas” file.

He probably found the following romantic comedy ideas: (1) an AMERICAN PRESIDENT-type of romp about the new British PM falling in love with one of his staffers; (2) a guy with a fabulous wife who risks it all by contemplating an affair with his predatory secretary; (3) a has-been rock star who gets one last chance at glory by remaking a popular Christmas song; (4) a chap who secretly loves his best friend’s fiancee but hides it under an ice-cold exterior for fear of her finding out; (5) a cuckolded writer who goes to Portugal to mend his broken heart only to fall for his maid who doesn’t speak English; (6) a mousy American office worker who secretly pines for a hot South American co-worker; (7) two porn movie stand-ins (yes, really) who fall in love while blocking sex scenes on set; (8) a grieving widower who helps his young son nab the girl he has a crush on in school; (9) a schlub who travels to Minnesota, convinced that his British accent will be like catnip to the American chicks he encounters; and, last but definitely not the, uh, last: (10) the aforementioned mousy American office worker’s problems dealing with her mentally-impaired brother.

After reviewing the rather extensive catalog of ideas above, Curtis probably just snapped his fingers and exclaimed: “That’s it! I’ll just mash all these stories together and create… the ultimate romantic comedy!!! I’m brilliant!!! I’M FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!!”

Well, that’s exactly what happened, and the resulting film was… LOVE ACTUALLY. We don’t get just one romantic comedy plot thread. We get, like, fifteen or something. How well you tolerate this film is based on how well you tolerate romantic comedies in general. If you have a passing-to-okay regard for the genre, you’ll do fine. If you love the genre, you’ll be in Nirvana.

If, however, your tolerance level is anything less than passing-to-okay, you will likely go into diabetic shock or eyeball-rolling so strenuous your eyes may be damaged permanently. Be warned.

I won’t go into the details of who plays who. Given the sheer number of characters on parade, that could take awhile and I have dinner plans in four hours. I leave the parsing of who’s-who up to you all. Just remember what I said about the sugar shock and eyeball calisthenics…


BUT, SERIOUSLY: What saves LOVE ACTUALLY from being a potentially and particularly lethal form of Romantic Comedy overdose is the wonderfully dry British humor that highlights the proceedings. When you’re telling over a dozen love stories, it helps to add just enough droll tartness to the events to keep them from being corny or overly saccharine. Writer/director Richard Curtis has proven this knack of being sardonic yet sincere with his scripts for FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL and NOTTING HILL. He scores again here.

The only thing that keeps LOVE ACTUALLY from scoring higher is that none of the romances are explored fully. Which is completely understandable, since there’s so many of them and so very little time to touch on them all. The result is just enough of an interest in all of the plot threads to keep us hooked, but no deep emotional connection to any of them - and no corresponding real catharsis. The closest I came to such an investment and release was in the Alan Rickman-Emma Thompson-Heike Makastch triangle. And even then, it’s due to Emma Thompson’s uncanny ability to reveal the full inner life of a character in so little time with so very few gestures and expressions.

Nevertheless, LOVE ACTUALLY score as high as it does because of the sweet-yet-snarky way it wears its heart on its sleeves. Also, points must be given to Richard Curtis and his sharp cast (not a false note among them) for creating and sustaining a relentless cheerful atmosphere that never becomes cloying or obnoxious. As I mentioned before, a little dry humor goes a long way in anchoring emotion, and that’s never more apparent than here.

In our review for CRUSH (review # 167), I mentioned that any good or great romance is enriched by the power of its individual scenes. In LOVE ACTUALLY, as you can imagine, those scenes are abundant. Just some gems to look for: (1) Juliet (Keira Knightley) discovering that Mark (Andrew Lincoln) actually loves her when she views his video recording of her wedding to Peter (Chiwetel Ejiofor) - all the shots and angles are focused on her; (2) Karen (Emma Thompson) receiving a fateful gift from her husband (Alan Rickman), and instantly realizing he’s been cheating on her; (3) David (Hugh Grant) first meeting his staffer Natalie (Martine McCutcheone), and instantly falling for her when she screws up the introduction; (4) Mark later silently declaring his love for Juliet via flash cards; (5) Jamie (Colin Firth) haltingly proposing to Aurelia (Lucia Moniz) in badly-worded Portuguese; and last but definitely not the least: (6) Billy Mack (Bill Nighy) realizing his true love (platonic) in life has been his much-abused but always-loyal manager, Joe (Gregor Fisher). Joe’s reaction to Billy’s surprise declaration is one of the film’s best lines: “Well, this is a surprise! Ten minutes at Elton John’s - and you’re as gay as a maple!”

Priceless. Simply priceless.

Special mention should also go to Craig Armstrong’s lovely main theme. Armstrong’s trademarks are brooding, atmospheric, and moody thriller scores (THE BONE COLLECTOR, THE QUIET AMERICAN, BEST LAID PLANS), so it’s nice to see him go “light” with the beautiful, gentle music score in LOVE ACTUALLY. This music helps the film from being too droll and dry, and anchors the multiple love stories in a sweet, but also real, way.

In the end, LOVE ACTUALLY is a very pleasant and upbeat film that deserves credit for creating the template that American rom-coms like VALENTINE’S DAY and NEW YEAR’S EVE (coming soon) would try to replicate. I don’t know about NEW YEAR’S EVE, because that doesn’t come out until next December, but I can tell you that VALENTINE’S DAY doesn’t even come close to the fizzy yet forthright way that LOVE ACTUALLY reminds us that love, actually, is all around us.

Just look around, and look closely… and not just with your eyes. It’s there.