(DELIVERANCE… with dumb-asses)
CAST: Seth Green, Matthew Lillard, Dax Shepard, Ethan Duplee, Abraham Benrubi, Ray Baker, Anthony Starr, Bonnie Sommerville, Rachel Blanchard, Christina Moore.
DIRECTOR: Steven Brill
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and stupid canoers in dire need of a serious smacking - straight ahead…
This has been an intense and harrowing week, movie-wise. Not surprising, considering our Wilderness Survival theme. And the best (or worst, if you really think about it) is yet to come with our review of 127 HOURS tomorrow. For now, though, let’s add a little levity to the proceedings by interrupting the non-stop parade of survival dramas, survival thrillers, and survival horror flicks with… a survival comedy. Yes, folks… some do exist.
Our next review is WITHOUT A PADDLE, which stars Seth Green, Matthew Lillard, and Dax Shepard as childhood buds who reunite after the death of a fourth pal. They decide to honor the memory of The Fourth Musketeer by hitting the Oregon rapids with a canoe, some camping equipment, a few cases of beer, and virtually-zero common sense. On top of that, they decide to hunt for treasure in them thar hills! Seriously.
Our heroes are: (1) Dan (Seth Green), a young M.D. so wimpy he lets a patient steal his own parking space; (2) Jerry (Matthew Lillard), a business executive who’s also a serious commitment-phobe; and (3) Tom (Dax Shepard), a slacker extraordinaire who is living proof that you don’t need supermodel looks to bag hot chicks - just supermodel confidence. The fourth (and recently deceased) member of their posse is Billy (Anthony Starr), who evidently was some sort of adventurer extraordinaire - and was the mastermind behind most of their childhood adventures.
Unfortunately, Billy’s penchant for living on the edge catches up to him when a parasurfing trip in Costa Rica goes very, very wrong. As in, he bites it. Big-time. This prompts his surviving pals to do the following: (1) attend his funeral; (2) reminisce in their childhood treehouse; and (3) decide to look for D.B. Cooper’s stolen money. If you folks just got whiplash with that last bit, don’t worry - my head is still reeling, too.
Turns out Billy was obsessed with solving the mystery of D.B. Cooper. The well-read (or just old) among you will remember that Cooper was a real-life figure who hijacked a Northwest Airlines flight and bailed out over the Washington/Oregon wilderness with approximately $200,000 in cash - only to never be heard from again. Our Billy apparently decided he would be the one to solve that riddle wrapped in an enigma trapped in a conundrum embalmed in a cliche. Too bad about that incompetent Costa Rican parasurfer boat driver who threw a major monkey wrench in his plans, huh?
In any case, Tom, Dan, and Jerry decide to commemorate Billy’s memory by going on a canoing trip and trying to unravel the D.B. Cooper puzzle themselves. Doesn’t hurt that Billy left behind a fairly detailed map based on his research and hunches. Or maybe he just had a really twisted sense of humor and wanted to seriously shaft his buds from beyond the grave by sending them into DELIVERANCE country to squeal like some redneck’s pig. Or three pigs.
Sure enough, it doesn’t take long for our misplaced trio of dumb-ass city-dwellers to get neck-deep in Shit Creek. To wit, the following happen: (1) They are attacked by a bear who mistakes Dan for its cub; (2) the bear eats their cell phones and part of their map; (3) they take the wrong fork in the river and tumble ass-over-empty-head over the falls; (4) they encounter a murderously loony pair of marijuana farmers (Abraham Benrubi and Ethan Duplee); and (5) they spend the rest of the movie running in terror like the trio of bitches that they are.
Will Dan, Tom, and Jerry make it back to civilization to enjoy another latte? Or will they get their asses incinerated by the marijuana farmers? What happens when they encounter a pair of hot nature-loving chicks (Rachel Blanchard and Christina Cooper)? Will the babes help them escape the “M.J” pimps? Or will they get caught in the cross-fire? Who is the mysterious mountain man (Burt Reynolds) that our heroes unexpectedly encounter? Is he D.B. Cooper? If so, why didn’t he spend even just ten bucks from that $200,000 to buy some fucking soap and shampoo?
Go forth and find out, cub scouts. Just watch out for the two marijuana farm dogs stoned out of their gourd. I’m so serious.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: WITHOUT A PADDLE is like a bowl of vanilla ice cream with a dab of rich raspberry syrup: it’s sweet, pleasant, and would be utterly bland if not for some unexpected tartness. Obviously not meant to be taken seriously as a “run-for-your-life” thriller, but also leavened with just enough melancholy and seriousness to keep from being slapstick, this movie walks the middle ground of laughs and mild thrills and does it competently.
Without the engaging rapport of its three leads, WITHOUT A PADDLE would likely sink below the average mark. Fortunately, Seth Green, Matthew Lillard, and Dax Shepard make a likable and believable trio of pals who clearly care for each other despite the expected razzing and joshing. Each of them makes their assigned characters vivid enough to get us wrapped up in their flight. Of course, it’s not like there’s ever any doubt that they will survive. This isn’t RITUALS, after all.
The humor is actually quite restrained, and there’s an unexpected undercurrent of melancholy in some of Dan, Tom, and Jerry’s interaction. Billy’s death is like a pall hanging over them in some parts. What becomes WITHOUT A PADDLE’s saving grace is its respect for its heroes’ friendship. Very much the same way the leads of GROWN-UPS (review # 22) elevated that movie with their appealing chemistry, the three protagonists of WITHOUT A PADDLE keep their movie from sinking with a nice brotherly vibe. Still, there are some funny bits here, like Dan’s encounter with the Mama Bear, and the farmer chasing them through the burning marijuana field that - yes - ends up getting our boys very high.
The supporting cast is all solid and decent. The best one is Burt Reynolds as the enigmatic mountain man who may not only be the one thing that can save the guys from those nasty marijuana farmers, but he may also hold the key to the D.B. Cooper mystery, as well.
All in all, WITHOUT A PADDLE is an average comedy that could’ve been worse. Fortunately, its three stars tow the line with their amiable presence and keep us from falling asleep.
