(Now this is the kind of babysitter I would be - which is probably why I rarely ever get asked to babysit...)
CAST: Jonah Hill, Ari Graynor, Max Record, Landry Bender, Kylie Bunbury, Kevin Hernandez, Erin Daniels, D.W. Moffett.
DIRECTOR: David Gordon Green
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some damn good reasons to never babysit - ever… straight ahead…
IT’S LIKE THIS: Imagine, if you will, that Eric Cartman, everyone’s favorite profane and politically incorrect jackass from the TV series SOUTH PARK, came to life and assumed the identity of Noah Griffith, a guy who looks a hell of a lot like Jonah Hill. Imagine Eric/Noah shows up at your doorstep to babysit your three kids: (1) Slater (Max Record), introverted worrywart; (2) Blithe (Landry Bender), extroverted future Paris Hilton; and (3) Rodrigo (Kevin Hernandez), psychotic foster child from El Salvador who is a gang-warfare statistic just waiting to happen. Now imagine Noah takes Slater, Blithe, and Rodrigo into big bad NYC without your knowledge - just so he can hook-up with super-whore girlfriend Marisa Lewis (Ari Graynor). Only they run into such scary obstacles as: (1) a wacko coke dealer named Karl (Sam Rockwell), who just might be the most bizarre drug dealer in the Northern Hemisphere; (2) a wacko former high school classmate of Noah’s named Tina (Samira Wiley), who is still pissed off (wonder why?) because Noah got drunk at one of her parties - and puked in the urn with her grandmother’s ashes (yes); and (3) the wacko kids themselves, who must have mug shots hanging on the wall of the National Babysitters Association Headquarters - and bounties on their heads from the same. Imagine Noah has to put up with all of this, try to fuck Marisa, and get the kids back home in time for the bedtime. Now stop imagining. Because this is getting scary.
THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: He may appear to be a sub-human choad, but Noah is actually pretty smart and resourceful. Then again, Cartman used to surprise us all the time on SOUTH PARK, right? So, there you go…
EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Call me sick, but Jonah Hill brings some swagger to the role that makes you forget that he’s kind of, um, hefty. And this confidence kind of makes him look like a short, tubby Kevin Costner. Then again, he did slim down after this role, so it‘s all good! See below:
MOST INTENTIONALLY FUNNY SCENE: Jonah laying down the rules to Blithe in their initial meeting. Which results in Jonah getting a mouthful of perfume. Which pisses him off. Seriously, dude - relax. There are worse mouthfuls to be had - for you, anyway. Ahem.
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY SCENE: Jonah making amends to Tina for puking on her grandmother’s ashes - by offering his face up as a punching bag. Let’s just say that Tina makes like Manny Pacquiao with estrogen. Not good.
HOTTEST SCENE: Anytime Noah summons up his balls (figuratively speaking) and stands up for either himself or the kids. Underneath all that blubber is a real man.
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: How will Noah’s night on the town with the kids turn out? Will he be able to hook up with Marisa? Or will he get the kids killed trying? Is Marisa all that anyway? Why doesn’t Noah just go for his old friend Roxanne (Kylie Bunbury)? And how will Marisa react? For that matter, how will the kids react to the fact that their sitter is dragging them along on what is essentially a drawn-out booty call? How will this all end? HOW!?!?
" WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “THE SITTER”: If you liked the source movie from the 80’s titled ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING - and if you don’t mind the concept being taken into far raunchier, but yet also unexpectedly sweeter territory. And if you like Jonah Hill.
WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “THE SITTER”: If you never saw ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING, or just didn’t like it. And if you don’t like raunchy humor - especially being spouted by kids. If so, be warned.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In 1987, the Elisabeth Shue vehicle ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING was released and did solid business to the tune of $34+ million in the U.S. and Canada. Good box-office for the time and for such a relatively small film. Needless to say, ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING is considered a success. And as such, with the current remake/reboot craze, it was only a matter of time before someone got the idea to update it for the 21st century.
You’d think that the remake would hew closely to the successful formula of the original film. That is, a young woman finds herself having to trek into the big city with her wards in tow, to save a friend who is stranded downtown. I envisioned someone like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, or Leighton Meester taking on the lead role that Elisabeth Shue made so memorable. The producers of THE SITTER, however, subverted everyone’s expectations by turning the protagonist into a male - and a slacker at that. Noah Griffith is not the pulled-together and polished tough cookie that Chris Parker was. Instead, he’s the diametrical opposite - and filled with many contradictions, which makes him more interesting than Chris ever was.
Indeed, while THE SITTER may come across as yet another crass, raunchy youth comedy, it is filled with many moments of surprising depth and poignancy. So much so that we often glanced at one another in surprise. This isn’t surprising since the director of this film is David Gordon Green, who directed the lovely and heartbreaking ALL THE REAL GIRLS, which was a very realistic chronicle of a young man who gets his heart broken for real - for the very first time. Green also directed THE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS, which is close to the pinnacle of raunchy comedies, and this aids THE SITTER’s humor immensely. However, it’s Green’s experience with the far more serious and haunting ALL THE REAL GIRLS that appears to give THE SITTER some unexpected nuance and feeling. It’s a pleasant surprise.
It didn’t start out that way, though. In fact, until about the start of the second act, I wasn’t sure if THE SITTER would rate as more than an average comedy. It was funny enough, but there just wasn’t anything special about it - yet. Then the characters started to deepen somewhat, especially Noah Griffith. Jonah Hill does a great job of showing the maturity just waiting to bloom under Noah’s “DUDE!!!” exterior. Hill has been garnering a lot of buzz since his relatively straight turn as Brad Pitt’s right hand in MONEYBALL, and he shows here, in the most unexpected of movies, that he’s got what it takes to eventually be a leading man in other kinds of films. Take a look at the scene between Noah and his estranged father - it’s a surprisingly serious scene that instantly elevates this movie to a whole new level. After that scene, the movie gets much better. And it’s due mainly to Jonah Hill’s ability to be tough and tender, naïve and wise, brave and scared - all at the same time. Love this guy.
The rest of the main cast is also well-chosen. Max Record turns Slater into a very distinctive character, while keeping him believable as a real adolescent - and not some pre-fab movie kid character. I don’t want to SPOIL anything, but one of the film’s two best scenes is when Noah counsels the fretting Slater while sitting next to a river - and helps him with a very, very important realization. You’ll see. Great, great scene that I would not have expected to see in this kind of film.
As for the other two kids, Kevin Hernandez bravely portrays Rodrigo with a lot of sharp edges. It almost got to the point where I was wondering if the character would ever lighten up. Fortunately, as with the other characters, Rodrigo is given his own set of layers to be peeled back - and we eventually get to see them. Hernandez makes the role vivid and unique - and one of the funniest images in the whole movie belongs to him: two words - broken glass and dust pan. You’ll see.
Then there’s Landry Bender as the adorable Blithe, who reminds me of a lot of kids who are too eager to grow up before their time. They don’ realize just how important it is for them to enjoy and experience childhood - before facing the inevitable task of growing up. Noah helps Blithe understand this, and the other best scene in the film is their little talk in the Minivan at the very end of the film. Among the other things that Noah shares with Blithe in this scene, he also tells her the meaning of her name in the Bible - which is “Joy.” Awesome scene.
The relative complexity extends to some of the supporting characters, as well. Ari Graynor was a solid presence in the recent Anna Farris/Chris Evans rom-com WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER?, and she delivers a completely different character here: the Girlfriend From Hell. However, Graynor and the script don’t settle for a one-note cartoon - and give Marisa multiple shadings that reveal her fragility. You can’t help but feel sorry for her, instead of just disliking her. The same goes for Sam Rockwell’s villainous drug lord Chaz. Another director and actor might’ve played up the character’s menace, but Green and Rockwell emphasize his quirkiness without losing his ability to be threatening.
I never would’ve thought I’d be using words like “layers” and “vulnerability” and “complexity” when writing THE SITTER’s review. Especially since the trailers were so blue with raunch and crassness. But, as I’ve always said time and time again: “Just like you can’t judge someone by their mistakes, or a book by its cover, you can’t judge a movie by its trailer.” You can’t assume a movie is going to be a great flick just because of its previews. This sometimes leads to unpleasant surprises and disappointments when the movies turn out to be average or mediocre (NIGHTS IN RODANTHE, SORORITY BOYS). In the case of THE SITTER, though, the seemingly crass trailers eventually reveal a film that is unexpectedly deep and touching - while still being very funny. And I still can’t believe I’ve typed that… Like I said, it was a pleasant surprise.
