(Here‘s a suggestion, guys: how about you use all that energy to, I don’t know, study for the fucking test instead?)
CAST: Chris Evans, Scarlett Johanssen, Bryan Greenberg, Leonardo Nam, Darius Miles, Erika Christensen, Matthew Lillard, Vanessa Angel, Tyra Ferrell.
DIRECTOR: Brian Robbins
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really misguided bunch of slackers - straight ahead…
IT’S LIKE THIS: In what has got to be one of the most idiotic heists ever, six rocket scientists decide to, ahem, steal the answers to the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT). Presumably, studying for it is so five minutes ago. Better to risk prison and a sub-zero chance of ever graduating from high school in the first place. Let alone ever setting foot on a college campus. Our dimwits, er, heroes are: (1) Kyle (Chris Evans), ssssssssmokin’ voice-of-reason good boy; (2) Francesca (Scarlett Johanssen), sexy and sarcastic bad girl; (3) Matty (Bryan Greenberg), cocky and hot (but not as hot as Kyle) bad boy; (4) Desmond (Darius Miles), gigantic basketball star-in-training; (5) Anna (Erika Christensen), constantly dazed-looking good girl; and last, but in no fucking way the least: (6) Roy (Leonardo Nam), constantly stoned dude who is a walking poster boy for the perils (and hilarious benefits) of smoking marijuana. Audiences, fasten your seatbelts, because this train is about to go off the rails…
THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: At the beginning of the movie, I voted for the level-headed Kyle. By the middle of the movie, I realized he’s just as nutty as everyone else. By the end of the movie, I was thanking my lucky stars we didn’t have the SAT where I grew up, because then I didn’t have to steal the answers. In short, no one’s saving anyone here…
EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: In order of Nuclear Hotness: (1) Chris Evans, (2) Bryan Greenberg, (3) Leonardo Nam, and (4) Scarlett Johanssen. You hetero males out there may want to invert the order of sexiness.
MOST INTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: Our heroes - AKA The Dumbass Six - breaking into the testing headquarters to - what else - steal the test. Imagine my shock when things don’t go as planned….
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: Francesca and Kyle talking heist stuff at a coffee shop, but looking ready to devour each other. Or am I a perv?
HOTTEST SCENE: I kept waiting for Chris Evans to take his shirt off so the world could be graced by the sight of that fine hairy chest. Alas, as I mentioned before he’s playing a “good boy.” Shit, this guy even sleeps with a T-shirt on. What is that about? So… this award goes to… well, Chris Evans. Because Chris Evans with a shirt on is still Chris Evans… Grazie mille.
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Will these choads get caught? Don’t they realize that if they'd just poured all that planning and reconnoitering into simply taking a prep exam, they’d all be on their way to Harvard tomorrow? Will they regret their decision not to form a study group? Instead of trying to pretend they’re a Clearasil version of the MISSION IMPOSSIBLE team? God, I hope so.
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “THE PERFECT SCORE”: If you like reasonably funny and engaging youth comedies that, admittedly, have a pretty novel (if also stupendously misguided) premise. And if you want to see Chris Evans and Scarlett Johanssen before they became mega-stars. And if you did really badly at the SAT - and wish you would’ve thought of stealing the answers, too.
WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “THE PERFECT SCORE”: If you aced the SAT. In which case, why are you reading this blog - and not doing something more worthwhile like trying to find a cure for the common cold?
BUT, SERIOUSLY: The DVD case of THE PERFECT SCORE touts the film as “THE BREAKFAST CLUB meets OCEAN’S ELEVEN!” Superficially, the description is apt and accurate. Overall, though, this movie isn’t anywhere near as great as those two modern classics. While the movie rises a bit above average because of the novelty of the premise (you have to admit there’s no other movie out there with an idea like this one), its capable young cast with future stars among them, and its sometimes funny execution, the fact remains it is hampered by one simple matter: why would six kids, clearly very smart in varying ways, take such a rash and desperate measure to pass the SAT?
I wasn’t kidding when I wrote earlier that all the energy our six protagonists pour into their plan to storm the testing headquarters and steal the answers could’ve just as easily been focused on studying harder for the test. The script tries to make us understand their various reasons for taking this step, but it just doesn’t hold water. These kids are far too smart for that - especially Kyle. They try to explain away their decision not to hit the books by saying “there’s no time to prepare.” Actually, there is. Just don’t spend it planning heists that are ill-conceived from the word “go.” Suspension of disbelief is a requirement for most movies, but THE PERFECT SCORE doesn’t make a convincing case for us to do suspend ours.
Fortunately, the cast is filled with some attractive and talented faces. This was one of Chris Evans’ first roles, and it clearly hints at his future as a magnetic leading man. Evans is best-known for the sexy/sweet swagger he brought to the roles of Johnny Storm in the FANTASTIC FOURS films, Jensen in THE LOSERS, and most recently, Colin in WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER? In this early role, though, he is much more low-key and reserved, and it’s a testament to his screen presence that he manages to not get lost among his co-stars. Kyle is the leader of this group, after all, and you need someone who can be level-headed and laid-back, but also commanding enough to make them know who’s running the show. Evans manages the feat nicely. In fact, this ability of his to be both tentative and bold at the same time hints at the same type of energy he would bring to CAPTAIN AMERICA seven years later.
Scarlett Johanssen is the other cast member of THE PERFECT SCORE who has gone on to much bigger things. She turns Francesca into an alluring non-conformist with just the right blend of hard and soft. As with Evans, Johanssen clearly semaphores her potential here for mixing sultry and smart in future movies like LOST IN TRANSLATION, MATCH POINT, and IRON MAN 2. And as with Evans, she has delivered on that promise quite well.
With the exception of Leonardo Nam as the hilariously memorable Roy, the other characters are a little less interesting. Bryan Greenberg is okay as Matty, but he doesn’t really do much with the character to set him apart. He doesn’t quite have Evans or Johanssen’s “X Factor”. Same with Erika Christensen as Anna, who is somewhat bland and dull for someone who is supposed to be so smart and accomplished. Darius Miles as Desmond was clearly cast primarily for his athletic skills as a real-life basketball player. While he is competent, some of his line readings could’ve used more punch. By contrast, Desmond’s mother played by Tyra Ferrell has more of an impact in her only two scenes than Miles has in all of his.
In the end, THE PERFECT SCORE is a slightly above average comedy that’s bolstered somewhat by a novel premise, a brisk style, and three strong performances from Chris Evans, Scarlett Johanssen, and Leonardo Nam. Reasonably entertaining, but no BREAKFAST CLUB or OCEAN’S ELEVEN.
