(Personally, this guy is my Prince Charming…)
CAST: Colin Firth, Ruth Gemmell, Mark Strong, Holly Aird, Neil Pearson, Lorraine Ashborne.
DIRECTOR: David Evans
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some rather sticky love vs. football offside traps straight ahead…
Hello, folks. I know we just finished Soccer/Football Week # 2 recently; however, in light of the impending Seattle Sounders vs. Toronto FC match that is just around the corner (and we are so there with choice seats), I’ve decided to add one Soccer Flick to our Jelly Bean Grab Bag list. The film is called FEVER PITCH, and it basically chronicles what happens when the Biggest Football Fan In All Of England meets the Most Uptight Bitch In All Of England Who Also Hates Football. In other words: ha, ha - good luck with that.
Our hero is Paul Ashmore (Colin Firth), and to say that he loves football is like saying a Great White Shark has a weakness for seals. Actually, that’s sort of disrespectful to the Great White Sharks of the world, who arguable display more self-control and judgement. Want proof? Well, for starters, Paul loves the local football club the Arsenals so much, that he owns boxers with the club logo. Somehow, I don’t think you’d catch a Great White Shark wearing seal-themed sports briefs. You could counter-argue by saying sharks don’t wear underwear, and I could rebut by stating that you need to come with me the next time I go on bar crawl. I can show you a whole variety of sharks wearing a whole array of underoos.
Anyhow, Paul has been a rabid fan of the Arsenals since his Pops (Neil Pearson) first dragged him to a game over 21 years ago. Let’s just say that time hasn’t done much to water down Paul’s ardor for the sport. If anything, it’s made him more, well, insane about it. The guy eats, breathes, shits, and wanks football. Ostensibly a teacher, Paul actually spends most of his classroom time talking football with his students and basically leading them in chants and cheers.
Someone who thinks is absolute bollocks is fellow teacher Sarah Hughes (Ruth Gemmell). Sarah is new to the school where Paul teaches, and basically walks around like a steel rod was shoved up her ass at birth and never removed. It’s no great surprise, then, when she is not charmed by Paul’s developmentally-arrested antics. Instead, she basically dresses him down in front of his students - and orders him to shut the fuck up about the football already. Let’s just say that Sarah is not exactly a fan.
Now, folks, in the real world, a rabid football fan and a rabid anti-football protester have about as much chance of hooking up as your average Christian fundementalist reverend and RuPaul. In the movies, though, anything goes. And so we basically have no choice but to watch as Paul and Sarah, you know, go on dates that are constantly interrupted by, you got it, the specter of the Arsenals.
For example, during one conversation in his car, Sarah thinks Paul’s responses have been to her questions, but he’s actually been responding to the sports announcer on the radio. You men out there know that is basically a great way to get smacked upside over the head. And you women out there are probably practicing your smacking technique right now.
And then, as if trying to start a relationship based on anything except shared common interest wasn’t enough of a Cluster Fuck, Sarah finds out that Paul apparently forgot to either wear a rubber one night - or pull out in time and dump his load onto the carpet next to the bed. Yes, folks… she’s preggers. With child. Bun in the oven. Expecting. Eating for two. Or my favorite one: assed out. Because, let’s face it: there’s a very good chance that the kid will pop out wearing cleats. Much to Paul’s joy, I’m sure.
How will this all turn out? Can Paul and Sarah actually have a real relationship when she hates the very thing he loves the most? Will Paul realize that he needs to make room for another passion in his life? Will he walk away from football? Or will he succeed in converting Sarah? Will she go for it? Or is she - gasp! - a closet football fanatic, after all?!?! Is she actually even more knowledgeable about the sport than he is?
See the movie and find out. Just don’t blame me if you walk out of this flick wanting to book a flight to England and watch a football match. If you see Paul and Sarah, moon them for me, would ya?
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Last December, during our first Soccer/Football Flick week, we reviewed BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM and GOAL: THE DREAM BEGINS. During our very recent second Soccer/Football Flick week, we reviewed MEAN MACHINE and GOAL 2: LIVING THE DREAM. In all of these reviews, we discussed just how revered the sport of football is in the British Isles. Having lived in Europe and visited England several times, I can attest to this fact myself. The Brits love their football - perhaps as much as the Italians. Maybe even more, although my Italian friends would contest this.
At any rate, the movies we mentioned above illustrate the British love for football in both broad and specific ways, showing how passion for the sport affects friendships and family. None of them, though, show how it affects romance. In this regard, FEVER PITCH is somewhat unique compared to BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM and the GOAL movies. In essence, it’s about a man who matures enough to have a real relationship with a woman. The soccer/football angle, while pivotal, is also almost incidental to the story. What Paul and Sarah face is the same path that new couples all over the world face: getting to know one another and building a genuine romantic relationship.
In FEVER PITCH, the stumbling block is Paul’s love for football, which is initially not shared by Sarah. However, as the film progresses, and after several setbacks, they begin to exert a positive influence on one another. Sarah’s no-nonsense, tough-love approach helps Paul grow up a bit, while his very real passion for the sport rubs off on her to the point where she finds herself being pulled into the games and matches. Indeed, the best scenes are of Sarah embracing her growing appreciation for football.
If FEVER PITCH does a good job of charting Paul and Sarah’s rocky road to commitment, it does just as remarkable a job of conveying the beauty of the sport - and the sometimes inexplicable (and unspoken) love people have for it. Watch for the flashbacks to Paul’s childhood when he first walks into a bustling soccer stadium. The wonder and awe that takes over his face signals to us that a lifelong fan is being born. Also quite lovely are the scenes between the young Paul and his father where the older Ashmore schools the younger one on the fine art of being a football fan. Being a closet football fan myself, I can attest that all these scenes ring true.
A lot of how effective FEVER PITCH is can be attributed to its cast. Many people may be surprised at the normally elegant and composed Colin Firth taking on the role of the unkempt and unpolished Paul Ashmore. The thing is, the unexpected casting really works. Firth blends seamlessly into the role. The fact that he can be cool, distant and aloof in fare like the BRIDGET JONES movies and PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, then turn around and play this very “average” guy with issues, is a testament to the actor’s range and talent.
A romantic comedy/drama cannot succeed unless both leads are strong, and Ruth Gemmell is commanding as the initially-forbidding Sarah Hughes. In fact, Sarah is almost too sharp-edged in these introductory scenes, that you wonder how in the world she and Paul could ever get together. Fortunately, Gemmell gradually (and skillfully) allows the character to melt - degree by degree - until we see her in a position where she must choose to give Paul - and football - a chance, or lose someone who is an unexpected soulmate. Gemmell (and Sarah) is at her best when she allows the character to drop her defenses and be open and real. I should also add that she and Firth make a handsome couple.
But FEVER PITCH is not just a love story between a man and a woman. It’s also a romance between a man and something that has been part of his life for over 21 years - the sport of football. And like all romances, whether platonic or not, things change and the players (no pun intended) need to re-asses where they stand. What Paul needs to determine is whether his love for football has been so all-consuming that it hasn’t left much room for anyone else to get into his heart. And if so, does he need to choose between Sarah and football - or simply re-arrange to make room for both? The answer to this questions is why FEVER PITCH rates as a good film.
On a final note, please know that there’s an American remake to FEVER PITCH with the same title starring Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore that came out in 2005. This remake changes the sport from football/soccer to baseball. This obviously is due to the unfortunate fact that America remains one of the very few countries that hasn’t quite fully embraced professional soccer. It may appear that it has, but when you look at Italy, England, and even remote third world countries, you realize that we have a long way to go in appreciating what is the best game ever.
Now, let’s say a prayer that the Sounders trounce Toronto…
