(I liked this movie better when it was called INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL…)
CAST: Jeff Goldblum, Cyndi Lauper, Julian Sands, Peter Falk.
DIRECTOR: Ken Kwapis
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some
It’s a good thing I like George Lucas. Otherwise, I’d have no choice to conclude that our latest review, the 1988 Cyndi Lauper/Jeff Goldblum starrer VIBES, possibly inspired his very divisive INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. Adventurers trying to find some temples in South America? Check. Squabbling leading man and leading lady who end up falling in love? Check. Psychics using their skills to track down some mysterious glowing crystals? Very check.
Of course, quality-wise, CRYSTAL SKULL is the better movie. About the only thing going for VIBES is how short its title is which, believe me, is more of an asset than you realize. Try repeating INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL ten times in a row. It’s enough to make your tongue pack up its bags and go to Hawaii where it would rather lick the sweat off from a lifeguard’s pecs. Ahem. Oh, and VIBES has a few awesome lines. Like when one character asks another to help him find his missing son. Her reply: “I don’t mean to sound callous, but it’s almost happy hour!”
Ha ha. My sentiments exactly.
Anyhow, our story revolves around two psychics who get roped into some bogus missing-person search waaaaaay south of the border. Our heroes are Nick Deezy (Jeff Goldblum) and Sylvia Pickel (Cyndi Lauper), two psychics who are being studied by the Paranormal Center of Manhattan. Or something. Anyway, Sylvia is a clairvoyant, meaning she can see the future. Only she seems to choose such useless feats like what people will doodle the next day, and not worthwhile crap like, oh, trying to figure out what the numbers for the Super-5 Lotto will be next week.
Nick, on the other hand, is some sort of medium who can tell the history of an object just by touching it. For example, he touches a table and declares “Someone had sex here!” Keep that guy out of my place. He’s going to get readings like that on everything from the dinner table to the kitchen counter. Even the washer and dryer. Possibly the bathroom sink. Still can’t tell if that one’s a dream or not. Hard to tell after seven bottles of Chardonnay.
But I digress. Again. At any rate, Nick and Sylvia spend their days being studied by Dr. Harrison Steele (Julian Sands) and his troop of highly-trained and even more highly-clueless scientists. Fortunately, they are given a “hall pass” from the center when bizarro Harry Buscafusco (Peter Falk), some sort of businessman, comes along and recruits Nick and Sylvia to go to South America with him to look for his missing son.
Faced with the prospect of staying in the big city for more inane testing, Nick and Sylvia understandably jump all over that offer. Before you know it, all three of them are arriving in Ecuador to search for Harry’s son. They’re not there for long, though, before they discover that the “missing son” story was just a cover for a… treasure hunt. And Harry needs Nick and Sylvia’s skillz to find the loot.
Will Rick and Sylvia go for it? Or will they resist? What is Harry really up to? Is there more that he hasn’t shared with them? What happens when Dr. Steele and his own posse of dumb-ass psychics show up in Ecuador? Are we going to get an X-Men sort of showdown?
I hope so. Because these are the two of the most boring psychics I’ve seen outside of the Psychic Friends Network.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Okay, folks. Going to keep this brief, because I have to get a night-cap in with a buddy before the weekend ends. VIBES is an occasionally amusing comedy that seems to predate INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSAL SKULL. It’s mostly rote and average, though, enlivened here and there with some great lines and line reading from the ever dependable Jeff Goldblum. Cyndi Lauper is okay in her debut, but nothing more. At least she gets some of the zingers. Like the one about Happy Hour.
VIBES also hasn’t aged well, unlike WHO’S THAT GIRL (review #266) from Lauper’s rival Madonna. The latter flick remains the loony treat that it was when it first came out. VIBES, on the other hand, labors hard to reach the same level of fizz and energy. Without Jeff Goldblum, it would’ve rated far lower.
The supporting cast of Julian Sands and Peter Falk are, just like Lauper, okay but nothing more. This movie belongs to Jeff Goldblum, and him alone. Make no mistake about that. Like I said in my review for THE SWITCH (review # 72), this guy needs to be in more comedies.
In closing, please revel in some of Cyndi Lauper’s music. The woman may not be the best actress, but she can certainly sing.
