(Movies like this make me glad the 80‘s are over… )
CAST: Susannah Hoffs, Joan Cusack, Deedee Pfeiffer, Michael Ontkean, John Terlesky, James Shanta, Pam Grier.
DIRECTOR: Tamar Simon Hoffs
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and pretty strong argument for never ever having big hair again - straight ahead…
Our last two reviews, SIXTEEN CANDLES and WEIRD SCIENCE (reviews #263 and #264), proved something important: a thin premise can be made fun, vibrant, memorable, and entertaining by a skilled director and a charming, confident cast. Our latest review, THE ALLNIGHTER, also proves this point - but in the opposite way. Without a skilled director and a charming, confident cast, this flick’s thin premise keeps it from being fun, vibrant, or memorable.
Well, that’s not exactly true… this film is indeed memorable. For its horrifying 80’s hairdos. For its equally horrifying 80’s fashions. For it’s wooden, extremely awkward acting. For its cast whose beauty is inversely proportionate to its members' screen appeal (with only a few exceptions). For its stilted, lifeless pace and direction. And, chiefly, for its chintzy musical score that somehow misses all the great 80’s songs and settles for ones that account for why most people want to just forget that decade, musically.
The plot is pretty basic, and has been done before - but better, all the way back from WHERE THE BOYS ARE to certain episodes of SEX AND THE CITY. Three co-eds are graduating from Pacifica College which, apparently, is to vacuous college party animals as Harvard is to, well, intelligent college party animals. I think I’m on fairly solid ground when I say that none of these characters will be future finalists for the Nobel or Pulitzer Prizes.
They are: (1) Molly (Susannah Hoffs), the ostensible brain of the group who acts and talk more like she just got done sniffing glue; (2) Val (Deedee Pfeiffer), the fun-loving romantic of the group who is about to marry right after graduation - probably because she knows she doesn’t stand a Haagen-Daaz bar’s chance in the Sahara at the height of a heat wave of finding gainful employment; and (3) Gina (Joan Cusack), the arty bohemian of the group who insists on filming every move her friends make with a video camera bigger than most suitcases, during their last night of partying - as if this shit were going to land her a Noble or Pulitzer. I guess it’s not just Molly who’s been sniffing glue, eh?
Anyhow, our ladies are determined to make their last night at Pacifica count. Which means a lot of partying, bickering, and flouncing about in the clothes that look like cast-offs from NATIONAL LAMPOON’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION. Oh, and they’re also wrestling with man troubles. Specifically, the pesky men in their lives are: (1) C.J. (John Terlesky), smokin’ hot surfer who claims he’s going to Law School (right, and I’m a prize-winning neurologist); (2) Killer (James Shanta), semi-smokin’ hot surfer who plans to travel the world and speaks in single word replies and statements (“Liquids” “Tranquility” “Blowjob”) that he thinks makes him look deep and enlightened, but really only demonstrate that he needs to pick up a few more words to beef up his vocabulary; and (3) Brad (Phil Brock), Val’s utterly dull fiancee who intends to make an honest (like that’s possible) woman out of her. With these specimens of the male species the only ones available to our heroines, I’m surprised they haven’t gone down the KISSING JESSICA STEIN route sooner.
So… what’s going to happen on their last night at Pacifica College?
Who gives a fuck.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: As I wrote in the intro, the right director and cast can seriously elevate a comedy, no matter how thin or cliched the premise might be. Without these crucial elements, a thin premise becomes a lousy film. Such is the case with THE ALLNIGHTER. Director Tamar Simon Hoffs is no John Hughes, and her direction lacks focus and meanders lifelessly from scene to scene.
This lack of energy translates to the cast. With the exception of Deedee Pfeiffer, John Terlesky, and future star Joan Cusack, the rest of the cast seems to be improvising - and not in a good way. The biggest problem is Susannah Hoffs, who was clearly cast just because of her high profile status as the lead singer of THE BANGLES. While Hoffs is definitely lovely and even more definitively a talented singer, she is simply not an actress. Her line delivery is absolutely mediocre, and with her character as the center of everything, this is a major weakness.
Of the men, only John Terlesky acquits himself. And mainly because he’s one good-looking guy and knows how to use his looks in each scene. As opposed to his other cast members, who just wander about aimlessly without any kind of presence. He also has a couple of good scenes where his character C.J. gets to use his law skills to save the ladies, which gives him something not quite like nuance - but close enough. As for the rest of the guys, James Shanta and Phil Brock are forgettable.
Verdict: THE ALLNIGHTER could’ve been a passable comedy, even with its careworn premise about college gals living it up for one last time. But the wrong director and a mostly-wrong cast (especially the wrong lead) do it in.
