(Going on a road trip is like sexual role-playing. You have to have the right partner.)
CAST: Robert Downey Jr., Zach Galifanakis, Michelle Monaghan, Jamie Foxx, Juliette Lewis, Danny McBride.
DIRECTOR: Todd Phillips
NOTE: Minimal SPOILERS and pretty strong arguments for not speaking to anyone on a flight - straight ahead.
Let’s just get it out of the way right now: DUE DATE is not as funny as director Todd Phillips and co-star Zach Galifanakis’s other comedy hit THE HANGOVER. And it probably won’t be as timeless a cinematic icon as that Vegas-set laughfest. THE HANGOVER was such a brilliantly executed comedy with such a potent and hilarious premise that you wonder why no one had ever done it before. DUE DATE, on the other hand, has been preceded by dozens of road trip comedies - some better than it. Still, it does have pleasures of its own.
One of DUE DATE’s strongest points is the chemistry between Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifanakis. Downey plays Peter Highman, an architect so high-strung he’d probably pick a fight with a ten year old over something as trivial as his tie. Oh, wait - he actually does that later on. Never mind. Anyhow, Peter is in Atlanta on business and is desperately trying to make it back to L.A. in time to see his wife Sarah (Michelle Monaghan) give birth to their first child.
Zach Galifanakis plays Ethan Tremblay, an aspiring actor so weird he makes the bizarro he played in THE HANGOVER look like a model of normalcy. To wit, he goes around: (1) wearing tight girl-jeans; (2) walking with a prissy swish; (3) sporting a perm that DeBarge would envy, and (4) toting a little dog like he’s fatter, less attractive version of Paris Hilton. Ethan is also enroute from Atlanta to L.A. so that he can break into films playing… weirdos like Ethan.
Peter and Ethan’s first meeting is, naturally, a disaster. They get involved in a nasty curbside accident at the airport that sees them unwittingly exchanging packages. Not that kind, pervs. That would be both obscene and painful. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that Ethan’s package contains something both juvenile (a copy of MAD magazine) and something illegal (marijuana paraphernalia). Which leads to the, um, package being confiscated. Which leads to Peter getting pissed off at the world for being mistaken for someone who reads MAD magazine and smokes marijuana. Which, for a high-strung square, is pretty much the kiss of death.
To make matters infinitely worse - and proof that the Almighty has a sense of humor - Peter winds up sitting right in front of Ethan on the L.A.-bound plane. Peter tries to ignore the colossal doofus sitting behind him and emails Sarah for what is probably the 3,458,234th time that morning. Ethan, clearly both an idiot and terminally honest, tells him that he really should’t use his BlackBerry after he’s been told by the flight attendants to turn it off. He uses words like “terrorists” and phrases like “they use the cell phone signal to blow up planes” and “they might do that RIGHT NOW!”
Let’s just say that this little altercation gets the attention of the flight attendants and the Federal Air Marshal on board, who basically orders Peter to the front of the cabin at gunpoint. When Peter refuses by saying, “And if I don’t? What are you going to do? Shoot me?” - guess what the Federal Marshal does.
No. He definitely doesn’t take Peter into the galley where they sit on the floor and play “Patty-Cake.”
When Peter recovers from the shot (with a rubber bullet, by the way), he discovers the following things: (1) he is on the “No-Fly List” which means he can’t catch a later flight to L.A.; (2) his wallet was left on the plane, meaning he has no cash or access to cash now; and (3) unless he sprouts wings and flies to L.A. on his own steam, he ain’t gonna make it in time for his kid’s birth.
Fortunately, it turns out that Ethan has also been booted from the flight, but has managed to hang on to his wallet. As a result, he’s been able to rent a vehicle. It’s at the car rental lot where Ethan espies Peter having a fucking mini-meltdown. Being basically a decent person under all that weirdness, Ethan offers his frenemy a ride to Los Angeles.
Peter, realizing he has no chance in hell of getting to L.A. unassisted, swallows his thermo-nuclear rage and actually accepts Ethan’s offer. Mainly because if he doesn’t, there wouldn’t be a movie.
Will Peter make it to L.A. without murdering Ethan? Or will Ethan get the beat-down of his lifetime somewhere between Louisiana and Texas? What happens when Ethan makes a stop at a medical marijuana dealer’s (Juliette Lewis) place to score some, uh, medicine? How will Peter react to the dealer’s bratty kids? Will Peter make it in time to witness his kid’s birth? Will he make it to L.A., period? Does Zach Galifanakis really have curly hair? Or is that shit really a perm?
Saunter forth and find out, young Jedis.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: I’m going to purposefully refrain from revealing much about DUE DATE. As I’ve said before, sometimes a good comedy’s twists needs to be safeguarded just as much as a good thriller’s twists. Allow me to the following things: (1) the cast is great, with Downey Jr. bringing a mean edge to his humor, and Galifanakis bringing a truly bizarre flavor to his comedy; and (2) watch out for that masturbating dog. Really.
That is all. Find out for yourselves.
