(Finally, what I have been waiting for my whole life: a movie with a gay private detective for a hero…)
CAST: Robert Downey Jr., Val Kilmer, Michelle Monaghan, Corbin Bernsen, Angela Lindvall, Dash Mihok, Larry Miller.
DIRECTOR: Shane Black
NOTE: Minimal SPOILERS and gay private dick and straight crook dick antics - right ahead…
For BONUS REVIEW # 2 which was published earlier this week, I reviewed the new release DUE DATE, starring Robert Downey Jr. and Zach Galifanakis as mismatched characters trying to survive a road trip together. Downey Jr. played a razor-tongued smart-ass and Galifanakis played an utter doofus, which, as you can imagine, led to endless (and often hilarious) bickering.
After watching DUE DATE, I couldn’t help but draw parallels with another Robert Downey Jr. comedy from several years ago wherein a razor-tongued smart-ass and an utter doofus were forced to work with one another and solve a mystery. The interesting difference is that Downey plays the utter doofus in it, while Val Kilmer takes the role of razor-tongued smart-ass. And the comedic result is actually more potent than DUE DATE, believe it or not.
Downey’s character is Harry Lockhart, a small-time NYC crook who inadvertently crashes an audition while fleeing from a cop. Mistaken for yet another aspiring actor, Harry is asked by the producers to audition. Still jazzed up by the chase and the loss of his crook partner to a bullet, Harry delivers a performance so raw and striking that the producers immediately take notice - and decide to fly him out to the West Coast for grooming as the next Colin Farrell or something.
Only in the movies, eh?
Anyhow, Harry arrives in L.A. and into the care of Gay Perry (Val Kilmer). Perry is called this not because he’s happy, but because he’s, well, gay. In the cocksucker way. Fortunately, Perry is probably the most macho gay man you will ever see. He actually makes Harry look like a pansy with all his street-wise skills and manly swagger.
Perry is a private detective, and since Harry is going to play one in the film he so fortuitously landed, our gay hero is going to give him “private dick” lessons. No I’m not referring to clandestine blowjobs. Sorry to disappoint. Basically, Harry will shadow Perry until he has the routine down pat.
Unfortunately, as I mentioned before, Harry is kind of an utter doofus while Perry is somewhat of razor-tongued smart-ass. This is often either a very hilarious or a very volatile combination. In the case of Harry and Perry, it’s both. Further complicating their relationship is Harmony Faith Lane (Michelle Monaghan), an aspiring actress who catches Harry’s fancy and hard-on. True to neo-noir form, our lovely Harmony yanks our boys into a sinister mystery involving her murdered sister - a mystery that just might get them all killed.
Will Perry and Harry solve the mystery? What does Harmony know that she’s not telling them? What does that chick with pink hair have to do with the mystery? What brought Harmony’s sister out to L.A. to look for her? Will Harry drive Perry crazy with his doofusness? Will Perry drive Harry insane with all his clever put-downs? Will they both decide to do a Bromance Movie called WHEN HARRY MET PERRY? They ought to.
I’d pay to see two hours of these two just bickering all day. Talk about a perfect match.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: This film was recommended to me by a pal who looks like Milla Jovovich. “Milla” sung its praises so much that I had to see it. And I’m glad I did.
As with DUE DATE, I am going to protect the twists and quips of KISS KISS BANG BANG. Hilarious comedies are like suspenseful thrillers - the less you know about them going in, the better off you are. Allow me to just say that the cast is perfection, the direction is assured, and the one-liners are to die for. And the screen chemistry between Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr. is absolute gold. These two characters (and the actors playing them) definitely deserve a sequel.
Maybe I’ll write the it. Hmmmm…… Anyhow, that’s all I’m going to say. Go ahead and laugh your ass off. I know I did. And I owe Milla big-time for this recommendation.
