(The parents are all fabulous…)
CAST: Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, Josh Hutcherson.
DIRECTOR: Lisa Cholodenko
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and decidedly unconventional relationships - straight ahead
James Franco (pictures above) once gave an interview with LGBT magazine “The Advocate” and had the following to say about the current state of romantic films in Hollywood:
“In this history of cinema, there are so many heterosexual love stories. It’s so hammered, so done. It’s just not that interesting to me. It’s more interesting to me to play roles and relationships that haven’t been portrayed as often.”
I should probably mention that Franco is as straight as your average red-blooded hetero Italian-American man, which makes the above statement all the more remarkable.
Contrast Franco’s “out-of-the box” viewpoint with other actors who avoid gay roles (which Franco has had at least two of) as if taking one on will give them the crabs. Or worse: kill their career. Franco’s fearless and open attitude hasn’t hurt his career one bit. In fact, today it was announced that he and Anne Hathaway will be hosting the Academy Awards in February. Also, Franco is said to be a front-liner for a Best Actor nomination for his unforgettable performance in 127 HOURS.
I wonder if he will be handing the Best Actor trophy to himself? If so, it couldn’t happen to a nicer - or more deserving - guy.
Franco’s quote about unconventional love stories has a direct bearing on our latest review. The love story at the heart of THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT is most definitely not your garden-variety one. Revolving around a lesbian couple (Julianne Moore and Annette Bening) who have had two kids via a sperm donor, the movie chronicles what happens when the children, now teenagers (Josh Hutcherson and Mia Wasikowska), decide they want to know the identitiy of the guy that, uh, provided his, um, seed to Momsies. To put it mildly, this not a relationship that has been exhaustively explored on the silver screen.
Nic (Bening) is the breadwinner of the family, a by-the-book doctor who heads straight for the wine rack whenever she gets home. Clearly, she wears the pants in this union. If you know what I mean. Her partner is Jules (Julianne Moore), a sort of stay-at-home hippie chick who is just starting a home business - another one - which Nic ain’t exactly over the moon about. In other words, the only difference between Nic and your basic chauvinist husband who believes a woman belongs at home is Nic doesn’t have a dick.
And speaking of dicks, guess how this lesbian married couple gets kinky in front of the TV at night? Well, if you respond “They watch lesbian porn, of course!” allow me to respond by saying: “I wouldn’t have written ‘speaking of dicks’ if we were dealing with lesbian porn, Einsteins…” Yup, believe it or not, our gal-gal couple gets their rocks off by watching… man-porn. Yes. Porn with men fucking and sucking each other. Don’t worry. You’re not the only one who possibly might have blown a synapse over this plot twist.
To make matters more bizzare (if that‘s possible), Nic complains that “the men in this one are too shaved.” Now while I completely agree that a hairy male chest is right up there with carbohydrates and protein as a vital food group, I don’t expect a couple of lesbians to share my views. In fact, I actually expect them to actually disagree vehemently with me and extol the virtues of muff-diving - not join me in my protest against “man-scaping.” What. The. FUCK?
Fortunately, THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT is more than just about Nic and Jules’ curious taste in dirty movies. It’s also about the, well, kids. And they are Joni (Mia Wasikowska) and Laser (Josh Hutcherson). Joni is Nic’s biological daughter, and Laser is Jules’ biological son - from two batches of the same, uh, spunk. Joni is every bit as together and focused as Nic, while Laser is just as flighty and sensitive as Jules. And since we don’t know who donated the spunk, we can’t really say what traits they inherited from the spunk-donor. AKA Dad.
That doesn’t remain the case for long, though. Evidently, Laser has been growing more and more curious about their sperm donor and eventually persuades Joni to call the sperm bank to find out. Joni eventually caves in, and in the grand tradition of people not quitting while they’re ahead, she find out the name of the Spunkmeister. AKA Dad. Then they meet up with him.
He is Paul (Mark Ruffalo), some sort of organic local food purveyor/restaurateur. Paul is one of those guys that anthropologists and sociologists clinically refer to as a “Stone Cold Pimp.” Or as one of Joni’s pals says when she sees a pic of Paul, “Stone Cold Fox.” Either way, he’s not what the kids expected. Especially Laser, who was probably hoping Pops would be someone a little less of a green freak. Joni, though, gives Paul a total “thumbs-up” rating - and can’t wait to see him again.
As you can imagine, Nic and Jules take this news in about the same manner they’d react to the revelation that the whole world knows they secretly like to watch man-porn. In other words, not well. However, realizing that the kids have the right to know the human being from whose loins they (sort of) sprung from, our lesbian couple does the gracious things and allows Paul to ingratiate himself into their lives.
Is this a smart move? Will Nic and Jules get along with Paul? Will the kids, especially Joni, find themselves loving Paul more than their two moms? Will Paul tear their family apart? What happens when Paul hires Jules to landscape his backyard? Why do they seem to have some sort of sexual tension between them? Why are they giving each other googley eyes like that? I thought Jules was a lesbian? If so, why is she letting Paul pile-drive her like that? Why is she sucking on his nipples and flossing her teeth with his chest hair? Is she no longer into pussy? What in the holy hell is going on here?
Whatever. Let me close with a short note to Mr. James Franco, the actor whose wise quote began our review:
MEMORANDUM TO JAMES FRANCO, ACTOR AND “OUT-OF-THE-BOX" PIONEER…
Dearest James,
I just saw THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT. And, dude, if it’s unconventional love stories you want, then trust me - this is the movie for you. I never thought a hetero man could make a lesbian come that hard. Wow.
Good luck with the Oscars in February, by the way. Heard you got the hosting gig along with Anne Hathaway. About time they hired some hot people to liven that fucker up. If I had to watch Billy Crystal or Steve Martin mug shamelessly one more time, I'd fashion a noose from a bunch of Twizzlers and hang myself.
Oh, and we’re all pulling for you to win Best Actor for 127 HOURS.
Laterz,
S.
P.S. If you decide to do a guy-guy version of THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT, I am more than willing to be the Jules to your Nic. You can use this blog’s email to reach my agent - which is me. Saves me the 15% representation fee. More money for vodka, you know?
P.P.S. We’ll call our version THE KIDS ARE FUCKED UP.
P.P.P.S. Seriously, Jimbo. Email me. Toodles…
BUT, SERIOUSLY: To say the least, you don’t see many movies like THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT floating around. Oh, sure… you can peruse the schedule of movies for any Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in any major city, and you’ll find a long list of lesbian-themed flicks. Most of those films, though, are about “girl-meets-girl” and don’t deal with the challenges of keeping a long-term relationship going or the hurdles with raising children in an unconventional family. In that regard, THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT is virtually unprecedented.
There’s been a lot of Oscar buzz for Annette Bening and Julianne Moore’s performances - and it’s thoroughly deserved. The actresses, just like any excellent thespian, portray Nic and Jules as human beings first, and lesbians last. While their characters’ sexual orientation is a significant plot point, Bening and Moore never let them be solely defined by it. Nic is cool, controlling, critical, but also unexpectedly caring. Jules is warm, needy, vulnerable, reckless, unsure of herself - but also surprisingly wise. They communicate with a whole array of non-verbal and short-hand gestures. Just like any other couple - gay or straight. And Annette Bening and Julianne Moore not only make Nic and Jules a believable pair, but also a memorable one.
Despite appearances, Mark Ruffalo actually has the trickiest role as Paul, a very complex guy - to say the least. Paul’s character arc is like a winding road. In the beginning, when Paul is new to Nic, Jules, Laser, and Joni’s orbit, he’s like a breath of fresh air. But then that air gradually turns less and less fresh, especially when he and Jules begin their highly unexpected and ill-advised affair. Their sexual connection springs from the unexpected kinship that forms when Jules, feeling neglected and underappreciated by Nic, reacts to Paul’s gentle sympathy and interest. But, as we and Jules find out, Paul is just as lost as she is. And he may not be as honorable as the kids initially thought him to be. Jules' impulsive fling with him not only underscores the fluidity of sexuality - but also emotional need.
Speaking of the kids, both Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson hold their own just fine against their older and more experienced co-workers. Wasikowska ably portrays Joni as a smart girl who will definitely make something of herself, but for now is trying to balance level-headed common sense with the need to be more spontaneous - such as wanting to see more of Paul and forge a relationship with him. As Laser, Hutcherson is similarly conflicted. Clearly, this kid will also do just fine in life. For now, though, he needs to balance the sensitive nature that he inherited from Jules with the pragmatic outlook that Mia inherited from Nic. Hutcherson, just like Wasikowska, is impressive.
Director (and co-writer) Lisa Cholodenko deserves credit for crafting an entertaining, intelligent, and offbeat story about an unconventional family whose bonds are tested by the very person that made it possible for them to be a family in the first place. To paraphrase Franco, there should be more movies exploring relationships that don’t fit neatly into the usual boxes.
By thinking and feeling outside the box, we create new boxes. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT does exactly that. And when the Academy Award Nominations are announced soon, I expect to see Julianne Moore and Annette Bening’s names under the “Best Actress” category…
… and James Franco’s name under the “Best Actor” category for 127 HOURS. Don’t worry, we’ll get to review that movie next week when we do our Wilderness Survival Theme Week…
