(Talk about a really strict school…)
CAST: Al Pacino, Colin Farrell, Bridget Moynahan, Gabriel Macht, Kenneth Mitchell, Mike Realba.
DIRECTOR: Roger Donaldson
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one REALLY SPOILER-FILLED TRAILER below - DO NOT WATCH if you don’t want to be SPOILED…
IT’S LIKE THIS: Ah… the CIA. What would the Thriller Genre be without it? Sure, you could fall back on the FBI and DHS, but those guys are so… domestic, ya know? Your movie would be fine if it was set in NYC or LA, but what would you do if you have a thriller set in Rome? Or Tokyo? Or Zimbabwe? Or Manila? Or Kiev? Who’s going to be your hero/heroine? A dumb-ass tourist? A crazy ex-pat? Or even a wacky local? No, folks - you need an American CIA agent, goddamnit! Our next review is not only filled with CIA agents (and they’re all smokin’ hot - thank God), but it also shows how those “spooks” were created in the first place. We’ve seen FBI training in movies like FEDS and THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, but to my knowledge (which, admittedly, ain’t much) there’s never been a movie, comedy or thriller, that has detailed the rigorous (and I do mean ’rigorous’) training that the men and women of the CIA get. If I’m wrong, email me the title of the movie and I will send you an official Sarcasto beach towel. Can’t guarantee it won’t be used, though. Ha ha.
Anyhow, our hot hero is James Clayton (Colin Farrell), who is a computer genius getting by as a bartender until his ship comes in. But just when it looks like the Dell Corp. (yes, that Dell Corp.) will buy one of his software designs, who should sweep into his life but the mysterious Walter Burke (Al Pacino). Burke works for the CIA and coyly hints to James that he has some info on how James’ dad really died years ago. As in: Mr. Clayton Sr. was, apparently, a CIA agent himself - and Walter believes that James also has the “secret agent” gene in him. Tantalized, James agrees to tell the Dell Corp. to go fuck themselves - and promptly joins a bunch of other CIA trainees at “The Farm”. Before you start thinking this is some utterly fucked-up Interagency training program between the CIA and the Bureau of Land Management, allow me to set you straight: “The Farm” is the CIA’s training facility for its agents. The same way the FBI has Quantico. The same way the Air Force has Lackland Air Force Base. The same way I have Chippendale’s and The Pussy Cat Lounge. I want my staff to be able to pole-dance on a dime, yo.
But I digress. So, James winds up at the farm where he meets a bunch of over-competitive dipshits vying to be the American version of James Bond. Chief among them are: (1) Layla Moore (Bridget Moynahan), nuclear-hot brunette who has pouty lips you just want to suck on until dawn; and (2) Zack (Gabriel Macht), nuclear-hot blonde dude who has pouty lips you just want to suck on starting at dawn when you finally stop sucking on Layla’s lips. Where is this place, again? And how do I get in? Anyhow, James, Layla, and Zack are about to discover that “The Farm” truly lives up to its slogan: “In the CIA, Nothing Is What It Seems”. Cue the deception, betrayal, and murder. So much for the lip-sucking…
THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Well… I’m going to have to keep this one close to the chest...
Is James our "savior"?
Or is it Layla?
Or is it Zack?
Or is it Burke?
Or is it “Mr. Saturday Night?”
Cast your votes. Mine is on the last one. But then again I’m a horndog.
EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: See same pics above. If we were rating movies on Hotness Factor alone, this movie would nab a ****½. The only thing keeping it from rating a perfect ***** is because “Mr. Saturday Night” isn’t in it. Colin Farrell, Bridget Moynahan, and Gabriel Macht is one threesome I would gladly photograph and record. Then there’s Al Pacino, who is the Quintessential Italian Silver Fox. Win-win-win-win.
MOST INTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: James tracking the “mole” in downtown D.C. The chase is on!
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: James strapping a polygraph sensor on Layla - and then asking her if she wants him to fuck her six ways from Sunday. Or something along those lines. We play this game at parties, too. Only we call it “How Many Shots Of Vodka Do You Have To Take Before You Will Do Anything I Tell You To?”
HOTTEST SCENE: James and Layla trying to make out in the CIA parking lot while trying to avoid the security cameras. Kin-KAY!!!
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Will James, Layla, and Zack survive their “trial-by-fire” at “The Farm”? Or will one or more of them drop out? What kind of Machiavellian tactics does Burke and the other instructors have up their sleeves? What does Burke mean when he says in the CIA “nothing is what it seems”? Who of the class will end up becoming the coveted “NOC” - or “Non-Official Cover” which is basically the Valedictorian position? What happens when Walter tells James that someone very close to him is a mole? How can James help ferret this person out? And, as Burke himself would ask, is everything here what it seems? Only if you think the CIA is about as transparent as the local Girl Scouts chapter.
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “THE RECRUIT”: If you like reasonably well-made, fast-paced thrillers that combine suspense and sexiness in equal measure. And if you are fan of Al Pacino, Colin Farrell, Bridget Moynahan, or Gabriel Macht.
WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “THE RECRUIT”: If you watched the trailer, then about 70% of this movie is already spoiled for you. If so, good luck - you may still like it. If not, you still have a chance to truly be surprised by it.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: We’ve talked about in past reviews how some movies are not done any favors by their trailers. Sometimes, the trailers just don’t even begin to hint at how good the film they’re advertising is (CRUSH, GROWN-UPS). Other times, the trailers are fine, but are so chock-filled with SPOILERS that when you finally watch the film, there are hardly any surprises left (WHAT LIES BENEATH, MAN ON A LEDGE). Our latest review has a trailer that is an example of the latter. I was lucky enough to see THE RECRUIT without seeing any of its trailers, which preserved its twists and turns for me. The result? I was leaning forward the whole time - even as the story became more and more conventional as it hurtled towards its climax.
I placed a warning near the trailer above so folks can have the option to skip it until they see the film. I am not kidding when I say that the trailer gives away A LOT. Because I don’t want to give away anything more, I will keep this analysis short and less detailed.
THE RECRUIT is a solidly good film that starts out very intriguingly as it shows us the unusual training that aspiring CIA agents receive at “The Farm” - a real-life training facility for the Agency. It isn’t until the third act that THE RECRUIT starts to feel more and more like a conventional thriller. Had director Roger Donaldson (TOMORROW NEVER DIES, THE BANK JOB) managed to keep the fresh, bracing feel of the first two acts, THE RECRUIT might have rated **** or higher. To be fair, though, the third act is still pretty solid for a thriller.
Al Pacino, Colin Farrell, Bridget Moynahan, and Gabriel Macht are all perfectly cast. Pacino manages to tone down his customary scenery-chewing here - at least until the climax - and make Walter Burke a nice combo of world-weariness and quick wits. Farrell complements him well as the wary James Clayton who hides a sharp mind under a cool surface. The gorgeous Moynahan (who looks like a cross between Sandra Bullock and Famke Janssen) gives Layla a somewhat feline ambiguity, making her both approachable and mysterious at the same time. Macht makes the most of his limited screen time, making Zack an effectively sunny “blonde” foil to James’ “dark” intensity. And, as I wrote above, these are some beautiful people. Talented, too….
THE RECRUIT is a twisty, suspenseful thriller - but only if you skip the trailer. It’s a shame the studio couldn’t come up with a trailer that preserved the film’s secrets better. THE RECRUIT did well at the box-office when it first came out - but I have to wonder if it would’ve done better with a more mysterious trailer that kept its card closer to its chest.
We’ll never know…
