# 344 - THE DAMNED UNITED (2009)

THE DAMNED UNITED (2009 - SOCCER FLICK / COMEDY) **** out of *****

(Brian Clough, I think I’m in love with you…)

Go, BOY!!!!!!

CAST: Michael Sheen, Colm Meany, Timothy Spall, Jim Broadbent.

DIRECTOR: Tom Hooper

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one seriously confident football team manager - straight ahead…




IT’S LIKE THIS: In the early 70’s, Don Revy (Colm Meaney) was “promoted” from being the manager of Leeds United, England’s premier football club, to manage the British National Team and help them qualify for the next World Cup. Stepping into his shoes was outspoken, brash, ultra-confident Brian Clough (Michael Sheen), who proceeds to piss off his players, other members of management, his best friend and assistant Peter Taylor (Timothy Spall), and pretty much the entire town of Derby. See, Brian is determined to make Leeds United an even better team than Don did - even if it means giving his boys an overdose of the Tough Love treatment.

THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: It’s Brian all the way, baby. This guy’s like a human pit bull: once he decides he wants something in his mouth, there’s no stopping him. Well, you know what I mean….

EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Michael Sheen as Brian Clough. Sheen is good-looking, but not exactly a supermodel. But the confidence, passion, and intensity he pours into the character makes you want to either share a beer with him while talking football, or shag him six ways from Sunday. Or both. Nothing is sexier than someone who stands by their convictions and passions.

MOST INTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: Brian going toe-to-toe with the executive management of Leeds United. And basically spanking their asses silly. Figuratively speaking, unfortunately.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: Brian being forced by his best pal Peter (Timothy Spall) to apologize by kneeling on the ground, and reciting the lyrics of a cheesy love song. As in “Baby, come back to me…” Fucking hilarious.

HOTTEST SCENE: The scene where the Executive Management of Leeds United react in outrage to Brian’s demands by screaming: “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” The response? Brian looks the bastards right in the eyes and evenly says: “Brian Clough. Brian. Howard. Clough.” YEAH, BOY!!!

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Will Brian succeed in elevating Leeds United’s game? Or will his brash charisma just get him into hot water with his players and the top brass? How long can Peter continue to stand by him? Will the politics of the team test their relationship? Will the players themselves embrace Brian’s tough but gentlemanly work ethic? And - most importantly - will Brian finally throw down with Don Revy once and for all?

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “THE DAMNED UNITED”: If you love soccer, soccer movies, and real-life stories of visionary men who face the odds and succeed.

WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “THOSE GLORY GLORY DAYS”: If you don’t like soccer or soccer flicks with Brits speaking in thick accents. If so, this might be the equivalent of cinematic Chinese Water Torture.

FINAL ANALYSIS: This film is based on a book by David Peace that is, apparently, an odd mix of fiction and nonfiction. Many folks have disputed whether some of the events portrayed in THE DAMNED UNITED happened the way the film would like us to believe. Obviously, as with any adaptation of a real-life story, some dramatic license is unavoidable. However, as the chronicle of a talented, charismatic, passionate man who was simply way ahead of his time, THE DAMNED UNITED is terrific entertainment. What’s great about Brian Clough is he could have easily been pegged an arrogant, egotistical jerk. However, peel back the surface, and you realize he’s hard on his players because he wants them to play “beautiful and clean” football. Not dirty, underhanded, un-gentlemanly football. In essence, he’s fighting for the integrity of the game.

Michael Sheen is perfection as Brian Clough. He successfully walks the tightrope of playing all of the character’s sides: tough-talking, fearless, determined, humorous, but also surprisingly kind and tentative during some moments. By all indication, the real-life Brian Clough was quite the character. If he’s anything like Michael Sheen’s portrayal, this is one guy I would love to watch a football match with and share some lagers with afterwards.

The rest of the cast provides solid support to Sheen. Timothy Spall is terrific as Peter Taylor, Brian’s “soul brother” who sticks by Clough longer than anyone else, and always welcomes him back with open arms. Jim Broadbent is also good as the owner of Leeds United who repeatedly clashes with Clough.

In the end, whether or not THE DAMNED UNITED and the book it sprung from are as faithful to real life as they claim to be is beside the point. The point is both the film and book succeed in putting forth the message that there are people out there who would do anything for the beautiful game of football/soccer.