# 124 - THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS (1935)

THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS (1935 - SUSPENSE/MYSTERY/THRILLER/HITHCOCK FLICK) *****
out of *****

(Wow. That's the last time I bring home a hot piece of ass from a party without checking to see if she's a spy first....)

I hope they at least have sex...


CAST: Robert Donat, Madeleine Carroll, Lucie Mannheim, Godfrey Tearle, Peggy Ashcroft, John Laurie, Helen Haye, Frank Cellier, Wylie Watson.

DIRECTOR: Alfred Hitchcock

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one seriously disastrous one-night stand - straight ahead...




I made a huge error when I published the list of Alfred Hitchcock films under review for this week. In it, I referred to NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959) as "The Original Chase Film." I could not have been more wrong - and how silly of me. That title should go to his THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS, which took the elements introduced in his previous effort, THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH (1934), and turbo-charged them for greater entertainment and kinetic effect. Said it before, saying it again: Alfred Hitchcock was way, way, way, ahead of his time.

Consider THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS and how "ageless" it is. Seriously. With just a few dialogue tweaks and casting changes, this movie could easily play in 2010 - and still be as fast-paced, gripping, and suspenseful. Switch out Robert Donat for Ben Affleck as the unjustly-accused Richard Hannay, Madeleine Carroll for Uma Thurman as the reluctant Pamela who finds herself unwillingly pulled into the chase, and Lucie Mannheim for Marion Cotillard as the mysterious Annabella whose murder Hannay is blamed for - and you could easily have something currently playing at your local Cineplex.

THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS wasn't so much a game-changer as it was a game-establisher. It established not just the template that future "man-on-the-run" thrillers would adopt faithfully, but practically the "man-on-the-run" genre, itself. Chased hero blends into a parade to escape the cops? Copied in Harrison Ford's THE FUGITIVE (1993). Hero meets a mysterious woman who yanks him into a shitload of trouble? Copied in TERMINAL VELOCITY (1994), DERAILED (2005), FINAL ANALYSIS (1992), ANTHONY ZIMMER (2005) - then its upcoming American remake with Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp, THE TOURIST (2010) - and RED CORNER (1997), just to name a few. Bickering hero and heroine handcuffed unwillingly to each other as they are chased by the bad guys? Copied in FAIR GAME (1995), NO MERCY (1986), THE DEFIANT ONES (1958), D.O.A. (1988), INCOGNITO (2000), and GOLDENEYE (1995) - just to name a few. Kinetic chase scenes and breathless chase sequences in both expected and unexpected places? Copied in too many films to count, to include most of the James Bond films.

I could go on, but I should probably start with the plot breakdown. Our hero is Canadian Richard Hannay (Robert Donat), who is visiting London for reasons never fully disclosed. When we meet him, Richard is at a theatre attending a show for, ahem, "Mr. Memory" (Wylie Watson). Mr. Memory, evidently, is one of those freaks of nature who never forget something once he commits it to his, uh, memory. The show consists of people in the audience throwing questions like: (1) What causes poultry disease? (2) How many pubs are there in the Greater London Area? (3) Who won the 1920 Rugby Open? (4) and: How far is Montreal from Manitoba?

The whole time I was watching this sequence, I couldn't help but just shake my head sadly. These are the questions that are supposed to test the might of Mr. Memory's brain cells? My. God.

If Mr. Memory were having a show today, I'd ask him earth-shatteringly relevant questions like: (1) In BASIC INSTINCT, how many orgasms did Sharon Stone's character have? (2) In FANTASTIC FOUR 2, how many droplets of water were beading on Chris Evans' chest hair during his semi-nude scene? (3) Regarding that scene, how many audience members subsequently went home and fucked the shit out of their significant others - and fantasized he/she/it was Chris Evans? (4) In ENTRAPMENT, when Catherine Zeta-Jones is sliding her way through the laser net in the museum, how many "ass-in-the-air" shots are we treated to? (5) Regarding that shot, how many audience members subsequently went home and forced their significant others to slide their way through a laser net wearing body oil and absolutely nothing else? (6) and, most importantly: If my mountain bike's chain starts tangling while I'm shooting down a hill, what's the most elegant way to scream in terror without sounding like a little pansy?

You know... important stuff.

Alas, the audiences back in 1935 were not as socially-conscious as me, so Mr. Memory is stuck with their thoroughly pedestrian and unchallenging questions. Fortunately, he's the patient sort and indulges their queries - particularly the one about the distance between Montreal and Manitoba. This is the question that our hero Richard asks, which instantly pegs him as a Canadian. Unfortunately (or, depending on the way you look at it, fortunately) before any more questions can be asked, a fight breaks out between two drunken audience-members. To make matters worse, someone literally fires a gun into the air like it's New Year's Eve in the Philippines. Or a family reunion at the Sarcasto Estate. Which might actually be the same thing. Ahem.

Anyhow, the Brits back them weren't quite as rowdy as they are now - and they take that gunshot as a signal to get the fuck outta there - fast. Richard is swept out into the streets by the crowds. Before he can get his bearings, he finds himself face to face with... a smokin' hot chick with a sultry gaze. Smokin' hot for the 30's anyway. She is Annabella (Lucie Mannheim) and evidently was in the audience, as well. Before Richard can do more than introduce himself, though, Annabella cuts through the bullshit and says the words that most men spend their lifetimes hoping to hear from hot babe: "Take me to your place. Right now!"

Richard, being a proper Canadian, plays hard-to-get for about - oh, let's see - 1.2 milliseconds. Then he hails a cab and shoves Annabella into it, clearly into her - or, at least , into one night stands. Things to start to look sketchy, though, when they get to his place. Annabella starts acting like - how to put this without sounding harsh? - a Grade-A nutcase. To wit, she tells Richard the following: (1) hold off on turning on the lights until she can draw the curtains closed, (2) she was the one who fired off that shot that freaked the fuck out of audience back at the theatre, (3) she is a foreign agent who trailed someone with "vital information" to the show, (4) she got spotted by two enemy agents, (5) those guys are now waiting on the sidewalk below, and (6) she has a contact in Scotland who can help her. And - oh, by the way - she'd like some food. Pronto.

Richard takes this in with admirable sangfroid, but you just now that he's thinking the following things: (1) this woman is batshit crazy, (2) but she's kind of hot, (3) and he'll play along if it means a lay or two because (4) goddamnit he's going to get something in return for his food that she's now scarfing. Besides, sex with crazy people is the best sex.

Unfortunately, before Richard can have Annabella tie him to the bestposts and blindfold him while pouring cherry syrup all over his chest, the bad guys from downstairs break into his flat and... well, let's just say he should've fucked her when he had the chance. Because fucking a chick when she's got a knife in her back is just wrong on so many levels. Needless to say, our Canadian friend is going to have a serious case of the blue balls.

That's the least of his problems, though, as it turns out that the bad guys are still lurking downstairs. After Richards finds Annabella's body, he takes the map of Scotland she gave him before checking out - and checks out, himself. That is, he impersonates the milkman (seriously) and sneaks out of the building before our bad guys can come back and give him the Annabella treatment, too.

Richard makes it to the train station in time to catch the next express to Scotland. Yup, our boy Ricky is making like a Hardy Boy and chasing down Annabella's contact up north. Too bad a cleaning lady found her body in his flat, and the murder has made the newspapers in record speed. Soon, the cops are stopping all outbound trains and searching them from top to bottom. And guess whose train is about to get strip-searched next?

Seeing the cops board his train, Richard quickly formulates a plan B. He looks around and notices a cool, distant-looking blonde chick alone in a one compartment. Thinking quickly, he jumps in and smothers the blonde chick with kisses. This works for about ten seconds as the cops pass by and ignore them, thinking its just another horny, exhibitionist couple giving the world a show. Unfortunately, the blonde chick - whose name is Pamela (Madeleine Carroll) - doesn't find Richard attractive enough to play along. She basically blows the whistle on him. Which leads to a chase scene that ends up with Richard jumping off the train and fleeing into the Scottish countryside.

Don't worry, we'll meet up with that bitch Pamela later. For now, let's follow Richard as he seeks shelter in the home of a cranky farmer (John Laurie) and his younger wife, Margaret (Peggy Ashcroft). The cranky farmer takes an immediate dislike to Richard, but nevertheless lets him stay the night.

Margaret, on the other hand, starts eyeing Richard like she just finished a grueling 50,000-mile bike marathon, is now dying of thirst, and he just poured the last bottle of spring water in the entire Universe all over his naked torso. Unfortunately, before Margaret and Richard can slam pelvises, the cops show up and the cranky farmer tries to turn him in.

Fortunately, Margaret is actually a decent person and helps Richard escape. She gives him her husband's best coat and send him out into the night. But not before Richard kisses her and says, "I'll never forget this - or you."

Then he's gone, leaving Margaret to write about their "love-that-dare-not-speak-its name" in her memoirs which will eventually become the basis of a whole shitload of future movies like LOST IN TRANSLATION, THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY, BRIEF ENCOUNTER, LAST CHANCE HARVEY, CAIRO TIME, BEFORE SUNRISE and BEFORE SUNSET. I guess Hitchcock was ahead of his time much more than I realized. Ahem.

Anyhow, Richard eventually tracks down Annabella's contact in Scotland. He is Professor Jordan (Godfrey Tearle), and is obviously a very respectable and important person - judging by his palatial home and the grand party that he's throwing when Richard shows up. Richard tells Jordan that Annabella was killed and before she died, she told him to seek Jordan out.

Jordan tells him that he did the right thing - because it turns out that Jordan betrayed Annabella and had her killed - and Richard coming to him makes it a hell of a lot easier to clean up loose ends. Without missing a beat, Jordan pulls out and shoots Richard in the chest.

The End.

Ha ha ha. Just kidding. No, seriously... Jordan does shoot Richard in the chest. Fortunately, the coat that Margaret loaned saved him. Or rather, the thick hymn book that was in the breast pocket did. It stopped the bullet, and Richard just played dead long enough to escape and go to the police in town.

Unfortunately, the cops refuse to believe his story. Evidently, Professor Jordan is Cock of the Block in that particular part of Scotland, and is basically right behind Jesus himself when it comes to walking on water. In other words, Richard is right back where he started - which means he has to go on the run. Yet again.

This time, Richard escapes into a lecture hall where he is mistaken to be some sort of lobbyist. He is pushed on-stage in front of a theatre full of people, where he is expected to give a speech that introduces some important candidate. He actually manages to bullshit his way admirably through most of the presentation - until his eyes catch a familiar face in the audience. A familiar face with blonde hair. A familiar face with blonde hair and eyes for daggers.

Yes, folks... I promised that Pamela would return to the action. Well, here she is in all her icy glory.

Recognizing Richard as the cretin who shoved his tongue down her throat on the train earlier, Pamela once again does what she does so well: she blows the whistle on his ass. Richard can only bluff his way for so long on-stage before he's finally shoved off - and who does he find waiting for him but the same two bad guys that killed Annabella. Unfortunately, Pamela mistook them for cops and sought their help. Stupid bitch.

She gets her comeuppance, though, because just as the bad guys are about to haul Richard off, he begs her to call the Foreign Ministry in London (State Department to us Americans) and tell the top brass that a "vital secret will be smuggled out of the country by enemy agents by tomorrow!" Even though Pamela says she'd rather eat raw haagis than obey him, the foreign agents give each other a look that pretty much says they have to kill her too.

Try not to contain your laughter at this development. I actually suspect that Richard deliberately did this to pull Pamela into the fray as payback. I mean, come on... even if she didn't hate his guts and was willing to do what he said, did he really think the enemy agents would let her go just like that after he spilled the beans? Yup, our boy Richard is shaping up to be quite a formidable adversary.

It goes without saying that Pamela ends up handcuffed to Richard - and bitches endlessly about it. Tossed by the enemy agents into their car, the bickering couple are transported to Bad Guy HQ - where they will likely be disposed of properly this time. Luck smiles on them, though, when a flock of sheep blocks the road, forcing the enemy agents to get out and try to shoo the fuckers.

Richard takes the opportunity to yank Pamela out of the car, dragging her with him as he runs into the brush. They manage to miraculously outdistance the pursuing enemy agents. Unfortunately, they're still handcuffed to each other - which might actually be a fate worse than being caught by the enemy agents. Or, as Richard succinctly puts it to Pamela: "There are 20 million women in this country - and I had to be chained to you." Ha ha ha. Bitch got owned.

Now, the chase is really on...

So - the important questions... Will Richard and Pamela continue to elude the bad guys? Will they finally decide to get along and find out what the fuck is going on? Or will they end up killing each other first? What is the "vital secret" that is being smuggled out of the country? Who, really, is Professor Jordan? And what role does Mr. Memory have the intricate puzzle? And - most important of all - if Richard survives this nightmare, will he check his future prospective hook-ups' passports before taking them home?

I would. I love sex - but I'm not about to die for it. That is all.


BUT, SERIOUSLY: Since I started this crazy project in June, I've had many rewarding experiences. As great as it is to hear that your reviews are "funny as hell" and "brilliant and thoughtful in a demented way," and as awesome and humbling as it is to see your blog listed on IMDB in close proximity to publications like THE NEW YORK TIMES and ARROW IN THE HEAD, the biggest thrill I've had comes from discovering new films recommended to me.

There have been many of these, but at the top of that list are GRANDMA'S BOY and WAKING LIFE (to be featured in an upcoming review), recommended to me by Clark Kent. Another one is SIDEWAYS, recommended to me by another friend who looks just like Liam Neeson, so we will call him Liam Neeson, henceforth.

Another one is KISS KISS BANG BANG - which will be featured in an upcoming review. That one was recommended to me by a sweetheart of a pal who looks like Milla Jovovich (you've read about her in past blogs). Then there's A PERFECT GETAWAY, recommended to me by an old friend in L.A. who looks like Brad Pitt - so we will refer to him as Brad Pitt from now on. Then there's UP, which was recommended to me by a friend who looks like Paul Rudd.

Hey, look... I can't help it if I know a lot of good-looking people, okay?

Bottom line: starting this blog has allowed me to not only discover great films, but also films that other people love - which makes you learn more about those people - and people, in general. Once again, we witness the power of film to bridge the distance between human beings. Which is one of the reasons I love cinema as much as I do.

The second biggest reward of this project, though, is re-watching films that I've already seen and fallen in love with - and then realizing just how much I love them. This happened last week when I re-watched HAWKS (1988) - which is now # 2 on my list of TOP 5 ALL-TIME FAVORITES - where it should have been before. And it happened again this week when I re-watched THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS.

I mentioned in the intro that THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS was "ageless," and that with just a few tweaks and updates, this film could easily be playing at the local AMC Multiplex right now next to THE SOCIAL NETWORK and EASY A. I meant every word - this film is that transcendental. It is now # 2 on my "Favorite Hitchcock Films" list, right after REAR WINDOW and right in front of THE LADY VANISHES, SHADOW OF A DOUBT, and NORTH BY NORTHWEST.

Sure, some folks may watch it and think (as with Hitch's other stuff): "Dude, I just saw three movies like that last week." My response: "Sure, but when were those movies made?"

Remember, folks: THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS was made in 1935 - nearly three quarters of a century (75 years)before movies like THE FUGITIVE, TERMINAL VELOCITY, RED CORNER, FAIR GAME, FINAL ANALYSIS, THE BOURNE IDENTITY, and THE TOURIST - among many others. Our boy Hitch was ahead of his time - there is no denying it.

For a film that was released in 1935, this movie is remarkably modern and energetic. That's because Hitchcock employs tropes that are timeless and universal, but gives them a spin that makes them unforgettable and all his own: (1) an innocent lead seduced by a mysterious character; (2) a crime that forces the protagonist to go on the run to prove his/her innocence; (3) an antagonist who is publicly respected but is secretly villainous; (3) an ally who is initially suspicious of the lead, but eventually becomes convinced of his/her innocence; and (4) a serpentine mystery that takes the protagonist and ally through some major trials to resolve it.

Hitchcock is in full command of his craft here. The script is lean and mean, and gives us just enough to meat to the characters to make them fathomable and relatable. Then it charges ahead to keep us breathless as the story twists and turns to its exciting conclusion. One viewing of this film makes it clear just who pioneered the art of thrilling audiences. I don't think the term "genius" is enough of a term to describe the gifts of Sir Alfred Hitchcock.

The structure of the story is perfect, as is the cast. Robert Donat is dashing and wry as Richard Hannay. He brings the right mix of light and serious to the character. There's no doubt that Richard is concerned about his situation, but he also tempers the seriousness with a certain whimsy that makes the character very likable. This was one of Hitchcock's trademarks: finding the humor - however dark and misplaced - in any given situation.

Another reason I love THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS is just how pivotal the women are in the plot. Richard may be the protagonist, but the female characters are all vital in pushing the story forward. As the woman who clashes with and repeatedly betrays Richard with good intentions - then slowly realizes he just might be innocent - Madeleine Carroll is appropriately layered and steely as Pamela. Carroll and Donat have the sort of spiky-yet-seductive chemistry that is just perfect for a couple running for their lives. The evolution of their relationship from adversarial to cooperative is echoed in future films like THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (1999), with James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) and Dr. Christmas Jones (Denise Richards), and INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984), with Indy (Harrison Ford) and Willy (Kate Capshaw). And there are many other examples.

As Margaret, the farm wife who risks her marriage (and life) to help Richard, Peggy Ashcroft is very endearing. She may only have a few scenes, but Ashcroft makes them and her character feel bigger than they are by the sheer weight of her performance. Her act of kindness and goodwill in giving Richard her husband's coat is what ultimately saves him later during his confrontation with Professor Jordan. I sort of wish that Margaret's role would have been expanded, but I'm sure this would have taken away from Pamela's showcase. As it is, Margaret makes a great "secondary heroine."

Finally, as Annabella, the mystery woman whose secrets and murder push Richard (and the plot) into action, Lucie Mannheim is very good. Like Margaret, she has less scenes than Pamela - but she nails them all. Mannheim makes Annabella into an uneasy mix of beauty and ambiguity. Her strange behavior in Richard's flat at the beginning signal the trouble to come, but you still can't blame him for not kicking her out. With this character, Hitchcock gives us one of his very first femme fatales - and she's a memorable one.

Verdict: THE THIRTY-NINE STEPS is a brilliant thriller that just gets better as time goes on. Unlike a fine wine that eventually peaks and then declines, this movie just keeps on improving. The action-thriller genre would be a very different genre today without this film.

As I've said before: Bravo, Hitch.....